Gilmore Girls
A Messenger, Nothing More

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B | Grade It Now!
Smoke 'Em If You've Got 'Em

Ignore this: one of the Cesars is explaining to Lane that he can have a salad named after him despite the existence of the Caesar Salad. MfTL enters with his two girlfriends, having finished regurgitating the speech Brian delivered earlier on The DaVinci Code. They sit down to order. MfTL snaps at Lane, which is when I would have kicked him out of the diner. I can't believe she's even going over there after she's been snapped at. Man, I miss Adam Brody on this show. DAVE! COME BACK TO US! Why can't Adam Brody be on every television show? ["I'd rather have him back on just this one, just occasionally, so that he could get over himself a little bit. Boy's starting to believe his own press." -- Wing Chun] One of the girls says the sentence that always signals a complete idiot is talking: "God, I wanna spend, like, three straight years doing nothing but reading." This is always said by someone who doesn't read anything that doesn't have an article about Paris Hilton in it. Lane gets the zinger: "What book?" Heh. MfTL wants some wink-winkers for his slut-slutties, but Lane's not having it. She doesn't want to give free fries to mfTL's chippies because that's not the point of giving free food to your friends. Actually, it is, but not when it's some kind of semi-platonic boy-girl thing. Lane yells that she won't flip-flop the free fries. Lane and mfTL get into a shouting match until mfTL decides they're going to Ed's Pancake World instead. Lane's happy they're leaving, and I'd like her sweater, please. MfTL leaves, but one of the girls, The Reader, comes back to apologize to Lane: "We didn't know." "Know what?" Lane asks. The Reader -- unequipped for this level of conversation -- opens her mouth and exhales. "Know what?" Lane asks again. But The Reader is an Under Five, so she literally can't say any more lines or they'll have to pay her more. The camera pulls in on Lane so that she and the rest of us can figure out that we're supposed to believe that Lane has a crush on mfTL. Now, Todd's my friend and all, but this certainly has not been set up. It'd make more sense for Lane to like geeky Brian or Sebastian Bach (which, in this town of quickly-dissolving marriages, makes sense). But Lane's never even had a conversation with Zack, and I'll call him Zack right now because we're discussing character development, so why do this to Lane? Why make her like the one who's a dick to her all the time? All the time! He plays her drums, he belittles her, he overrides her decisions, he rolls his eyes at every suggestion she makes. So why make another girl fall for the apathetic, emotionally detached, greasy-haired whiny punk brat? Why? Man. WHERE'S ADAM BRODY!?!

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Gilmore Girls




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