Backtracking to where I was before I so rudely interrupted myself, Lorelai asks Michel if these are all the members of the Edgar Allen Poe society. Michel corrects her and renames the society the "I Should Be Sterilized So That My Disturbing Idiosyncrasies Aren't Passed Down to the Next Generation" Society. Lorelai goes behind the front desk and welcomes a couple to the inn. As she checks them in, she promises that there aren't any human body parts buried in the floor of their room to keep them awake tonight. "Sound good?" Mr. and Mrs. Hallistad, who now are clearly not with the Edgar Allen Poe Society, are just a bit mortified. Lorelai scoffs and asks Michel why the Hallistads wouldn't get her awesome "Tell-Tale Heart" reference. Michel informs her that they are not with the EAP Society. All the cool kids are calling it the EAP Society, so that they don't have to type out all of those letters in their recaps. Lorelai asks why Michel didn't tell her that the Hallistads weren't EAPs. "If I had thought to, I still would not have," he answers. Lorelai turns around to check in the next couple. She asks first if they are with the Poe Society. They are. So Lorelai jokes, "There will be a complimentary cask of amontillado in your room, and if you're expecting your friends Dr. Tar and Professor Feather, I'll send up another one." Crickets. She reminds them that they're with the Poe Society. The man, who's just a bit insulted, says it's just a hobby. "We're not Trekkies." Lorelai hands them the key, assuring them that she doesn't think they're freaks. Lorelai pouts off so Michel can continue checking people in.
Jess is pouting by a whiteboard that orders "Customer Service, Teamwork, Personal Responsibility, Goal Recognition and Integrity." The Wal-Mart manager takes the front of the room and reminds us all that this is the monthly meeting that takes about four minutes where Jess will receive his Employee of the Month award. I love how this show assumes that anyone who would manage a Wal-Mart must have a southern accent. That's where they keep the Southerners of Connecticut -- at the Wal-Mart. Well, thank ya kindly. Also, the workers of Wal-Mart are the most culturally diverse group of extras we've ever seen on this show. The manager tells us that Jess is going to win two hundred bucks with this award. He jokes that it's the only thing that got Jess to come to the meeting. Well, how's that for teamwork and personal responsibility, Employee of the Month? "You know him as a trooper," the manager boasts. "Our Mr. Reliable." I'm half expecting CuteDean to walk up and accept the award. Apparently Jess is handy with a forklift, even if he's not one for small talk. Jess pouts up to the manager. "Would you like to say anything, Jess?" the manager asks. "Nope," Jess answers. The manager laughs uncomfortably and beams, "Well, that's our Jess." Yeah, it seems that Jess is a perfect fit here at Wal-Mart, where they think of his angry sourpuss as some kind of quirky forklift personality trait.