Shot of Jason driving in his convertible like Uma, talking on a hands-free. He says he's taking his one-hour lunch to go to the driving range to try to improve his sucky golf game, thereby redeeming himself in Richard's eyes.
Back to Lorelai, who compliments Digger's use of "sucky" and "thereby" in the same sentence. Rory asks whom she's talking to. Lorelai says she's talking to Digger. Luke comes out with the cherry danish and sees Lorelai on two cell phones. Lorelai tells Digger and Rory hello for each other. Luke asks whom she's talking to. "My other two personalities," Lorelai says. Lorelai makes Luke give her a bite of cherry danish. Luke goes back inside. Lorelai asks Digger for an update.
Digger doesn't exactly look where he's driving when he says his father isn't talking to him and his mother's on happy pills.
Rory screams "fire" to get her mother's attention. Since this scene isn't really working for me, I'll take this moment to tell you a story about my own family. That's what we've come to expect over the years, isn't it? Anyway, when my parents first got a speakerphone, they were so excited to have it that they would put everybody on speakerphone, no matter who was calling. Also my mom and sister (and okay, me) have this problem where when they're on the phone they also feel the need to talk to everyone around them, usually without notifying the person on the phone that there's someone else in the room getting spoken to. So when I'm talking to my sister, sometimes she'll have an entire conversation with my mom about what DVD they're going to watch after they get off the phone with me. But when there was a speakerphone it was very easy to forget that someone was even on the phone, so sometimes I'd listen to my family have lengthy discussions about dinner or shopping, forgetting that I'm sort of in the room. Then they decided that they didn't like the tinny sound of the speakerphone, so they would use the speakerphone to answer the phone and then ask you to hold on while they located the handset. One day this backfired when they couldn't find the handset. "Just talk to me," I said. "This is a speakerphone. We can talk this way." "No, honey," Mom said. "I can't hear you. You're on the speakerphone. Let us find the phone." "This is the phone," I shouted. "I know it's the phone, but I can't hear you," Dad said. "You just heard me," I said. "It's a phone. It's a phone with a speaker." "It's not a real phone," Mom said. "It's just so we can find the phone." They chatted about who had the phone last and where it could possibly be and who they called earlier and what those conversations were about. Then Dad again: "Honey? We're going to call you back. We have to find the phone. Let us hang up so we can call you later." Yeah, you want mundane, Gilmore Girls? I'll give you mundane. I can talk for hours about nothing.