Gilmore Girls
Afterboom

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We All Fall Down

As Lane walks through the square, she sees MamaLane's house. She also sees Lane 2.0 -- a girl wearing Lane's clothes who looks just like Lane -- leaving MamaLane's house. MamaLane wraps a scarf around the girl and hands her an apple. Lane, seeing that she's been replaced by a more obedient doppelganger, is heartbroken.

Digger hits a golf ball. "Yeah, sure," he says. "That's exactly what I meant to do." Digger sees a client and tries to talk about some contract, but the client is evasive and excuses himself before Digger's even finished a sentence.

I know these paragraphs are recapping slim, but honestly that's all that's going on here. I don't know what else to tell you. Maybe I could end each paragraph with a description of one item in my purse; then you're getting more bang for your buck. Okay. Here goes. One Cool Mint Listerine PocketPak: empty. It's probably been in there, empty, for three months.

Michel is giving a tour of the Dragonfly to a group of people. We hear a horse in the background. Michel points out the deer outside. He tells the group to go look at it. He tells Lorelai he has this group of travel agents eating out of the palm of his hand, as they are so easy to please. He asks if the horses are washed, because he needs them to smell good before he brings people over. Lorelai promises they've been hosed with new car scent. Michel has this tour rigged more than Chevy Chase in Funny Farm. The agents come back. Michel stops them to say he smells something incredible. It must be Sookie's cooking. Then Sookie comes out, carried by two men, giggling because she's broken her foot or something. She tells Michel that the cookies are on the counter in the kitchen. (One movie ticket stub for 13 Going on 30, an idea I wish I'd come up with. The female Big! I'm so stupid!)

Sookie's put in a van. "I'm back!" she cheers. Then she's gone. We never see her again, so I hope she's okay. Bye, Sookie. I guess they did this so that Lorelai can be outside when Digger surprises her with his arrival. Digger says he spent the entire day trying to track down Richard. He found out that Richard is going back into business with Floyd. Lauren Graham appears to be as uninterested in this scene as I am when she whines almost emotionlessly, "What? Jason. No. My father wouldn't do that." Digger tells Lorelai about the sweet set-up Richard got for going back to Floyd. They make it sound like that was all decided after Floyd's threat of a lawsuit. But if that was true, why was Richard so smug and serene just after Digger left, when he told Emily that everything was going to be fine? Digger tells Lorelai that Richard is taking all of their clients with him. He says he thought it was one of those not-so-funny Billy-Crystal-at-the-Oscars kind of jokes. He thought Richard was doing a musical medley? Digger says all the clients are gone. Lorelai doesn't understand how Richard could just take the business from him. Digger laughs, saying that Richard left the business to Digger. There are still pens and paper clips. There just aren't any clients. Lorelai asks why Richard would do that. Digger says it's brilliant and perfect. The lawsuit's dropped, and Richard makes bank and is sitting pretty. Digger says that Richard has ruined his reputation around town. Digger whines that he'll have to move to Houston, where all the financial wash-ups live. Digger wouldn't last a day in Houston. Lorelai asks what she can do. Digger says he just needed to vent. Lorelai touches his hand and says, "Come here." Digger says he can't, kisses her cheek, and says he'll call her later. He leaves. Lorelai pouts. (One tiny plastic bottle of barbecue sauce. I was in Kansas City two weekends ago and this was a gift. Oh, like you've never had a condiment in your purse for weeks.)

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Gilmore Girls

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