Gilmore Girls

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C+ | Grade It Now!
We All Fall Down

Awkward dinner. No talking. The maid clears the plates. Lorelai asks what's for dessert. Emily says there is none. More shock. Emily says she's on a diet. Richard says Americans are too fat. Rory tells Emily that she's not fat, and Emily thanks Lorelai for the compliment. Lorelai says they should just leave, then. Richard and Emily are already out of their seats. Emily gives Lorelai and Rory bags of chocolate from friends of theirs. Richard and Emily pretty much push the girls out of the house. (Book where ideas are scribbled.)

Lorelai asks what the hell that was. "Jack Nicholson and Angelina Jolie just kicked us out with parting gifts." I don't get that line. Because they're acting crazy? Emily's car is in the driveway, which raises a red flag for Lorelai. The girls hide in the bushes when they hear Emily approaching. They watch as Emily gets in her car and drives away. The girls wonder where Emily could be going. Lorelai realizes that her mother might not be sleeping at that house tonight. (Uncashed check for fifty dollars.)

The band plays another cover song. I wish they could write their own songs. Let Sebastian rock out! Some kid in the audience is singing the words into his cell phone and then holding his cell phone up for the parts where my friend Todd Lowe isn't singing. Way to ruin your bootleg, dude. Sebastian Bach messes up, singing on a part that isn't his. The song ends, and then they all stand around onstage congratulating each other, chatting it up. Ah, television gigs. How completely unrealistic you are. Brian leaves to hang out with his family. Dude. Cousin Turner in his Zorro outfit is hilarious. Sebastian Bach leaves to make out with his wife. Lane and my friend Todd Lowe share a flirty moment. No, Lane! You've got a boyfriend! He's awesome! Then again, he's having sex with girls in Orange County, so maybe you should get some band lovin'. They reuse a line they've already had Lane say, as she wishes they could stay out late tonight planning their "Rolling Stones [sic] cover." Just then, groupies show up to skank off with (mf) Todd Lowe. Lane looks around and sees she's the only person without someone because Rory sucks. (Gum. Three sticks. Extra Wintergreen.)

The la's narrate as Lane breaks into her own house, goes up to her bedroom, and sees Lane 2.0 asleep in her bed. (Sunglasses.)

Lane enters MamaLane's room and kisses her sleeping mother's head. MamaLane sleeps on one side of the bed, so we still don't solve the mystery of PapaLane. I can't wait to meet him. (Cell phone.)

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Gilmore Girls




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