...when the family arrives in full. Sookie turns on the fake welcome and they rush around greeting everyone. Brother Beau, played by the slaying-me Nick Offerman, comes in and says he'll handle check-in for the whole fam. Lorelai cringes as he sidles over, but gamely tells him, "Welcome to the Dragonfly Inn." Him: "Welcome to Beau." I'll tell you right now, Beau is the reason I gave this episode an A. His presence overcame Logan and Rosie O'Donnell and Lorelai saying "retarded" and the French maid and the baptism and all of it. If he was on every week, he'd probably irritate me, but right now I love him. Lorelai makes an attempt at chattiness and compliments his sunglasses as being "very Risky Business." Beau: "Risky business, huh? Are you into risky business?" Heeee! Lorelai blanches. "No," she says, "all of a sudden I HATE it. Tom Cruise in his underwear makes me want to barf." Lorelai, we all share that sentiment, as do the doctors and nurses at the secret and selective clinic where Katie Holmes probably went to be impregnated with the sperm of Xenu, or whoever the hell. Lorelai asks if Beau would like to register, pushing a sign-in form toward him across the desk. Without taking his eyes off her, he says he would love to, and scribbles his name down with a flourish. "You just signed the blotter," she tells him, and he apologizes, smarmily saying he was distracted. She's holding it together, and tells him where his room is. "Well," he says, "aren't you accommodating? I guess I'll go and get my duffle bag out of the minivan." Whew, the redneck romance. I can smell it in the breeze. Jackson comes up, and Lorelai is squicked, telling him that's the first time she's ever heard the word "duffle" sound dirty. Jackson apologizes profusely and repeatedly for his gross family: "I am so, so sorry." Sookie runs in on her tiptoes, thoroughly grossed out, whispering, "Ooooo, Uncle Artie hugged me too long." Jackson points out that Lorelai had to check in Beau, and Sookie begins the litany of apology as well.
Jackson is passing out room keys when Beau comes back in and heads upstairs. He pauses by the desk, saying he just thought he'd give Lorelai his room number. "I have it," she says. "Remember, I checked you in about a minute ago?" He flares his moustache at her, and says he'll see her soon and then LICKS his KEY. AH HA HA HA! Man, it's awful, but somehow so funny. I think Lauren Graham is a bit on the verge of laughter as she makes the grossed-out face that follows.