Gilmore Girls
An Affair To Remember

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Pomp And Circumstances

We open on Friday-night dinner. Emily and Richard are complaining about their new neighbors, the Richmonds. Lorelai doesn't understand how giving out full-sized candy bars for Halloween is something to be upset about. But the Richmonds gave out king-sized candy bars, when Richard and Emily had been giving out full-sized candy bars every year. Man, I can't even imagine getting a full-sized candy bar in my trick-or-treat basket. ["Every house I've ever lived, there's always been one -- and only one -- house where the owners gave out full-sized candy bars. We always tried to think of a way to hit it twice." -- Wing Chun] Emily says that the Richmonds made the entire neighborhood look ridiculous by throwing off the balance. Emily's sweater, with its strange collar, is throwing off my balance; for a second I thought she was wearing chambray. Lorelai, on the other hand, is wearing something I'm completely coveting-- a pink and black flowered top with cap sleeves and black trim, and a little pink chiffon scarf tied around her neck. Lorelai reminds her parents that, two Halloweens ago, someone painted the Duprees' Chihuahua pink and nobody complained. "Well, everybody hated Taco," Emily says. Heh. Emily says it might be time to go after the Richmonds' ball machine. Richard chuckles evilly. He explains that the ball machine on the Richmonds' tennis court is extremely loud and unpredictable. "Flying, thumping balls all over the place," Emily interjects. Lorelai asks: "Flying, thumping...what all over the place?" Emily: "Balls." And both Lorelai and I guffaw childishly. "You are four," Emily tells Lorelai. Awesome. Great line. I have a pin on one of my purses that boldly declares "I'm 4!" Lorelai tells Emily that balls are funny. Richard says they can get a petition going if the homeowners' association doesn't want to do anything about the Richmonds. Lorelai suggests that they put on hoods and burn a full-sized Mars bar in their yard. "King-sized, Lorelai," Emily corrects. "King-sized."

Rory tries to change the subject by asking Richard about his work. Richard says it's "lovely." He asks about school. "Crazy," Rory sighs. Lorelai says that Rory's taking too many classes. She's taking five classes. That's probably, like, seventeen hours with the labs, right? That's not a lot. I took five my freshman and sophomore years. I may have taken six one semester. You had to if you wanted out before five years was up. As it was, it took me four and a half years, and I never took extra electives. ["Seriously -- isn't five classes...a full course load? At my university it was." -- Wing Chun] Rory says she likes to be busy, and Richard says she takes after him. He took that many classes as well. "Idle hands are the devil's playthings," he reminds everyone. Now it sounds like a show fit for The WB. Had to work the religion in there somewhere. "That's actually the title of one of her classes," Lorelai says. Emily announces they're having mini lemon bundt cakes for dessert. Lorelai makes a groan of disappointment, and says they're serving full-sized bundt cakes over at the Richmond house. Hee. There's an extra joke here about Lorelai's plate getting taken away, but I prefer to fade out here on the stronger joke.

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Gilmore Girls

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