Digger's office. Who cares what time it is. Okay, this whole Digger Flirts thing makes me uncomfortable, because he hits on Lorelai so hard and so sleezily. Anyway, he's impressed with how she grew up, and she complains that he hasn't returned any of her calls. Digger says he'll call her now. "What's your number?" Lorelai: "976-Bite Me."
Digger invites Lorelai to his office and excuses his secretary. Lorelai says she wants him to know he can't just waltz into people's lives and take over. "I don't waltz at all," Digger says. "It's embarrassing, and a little gay." Lorelai says that people were hired for this party and were counting on the money from the launch party. She says it was out of line for Digger to walk in and crap all over Emily's parties, making her feel obsolete. Digger says that Richard and Emily hadn't told him about the party. Lorelai says they wouldn't have, because they're inconsiderate and self-centered, but they've been doing that for years so they have dibs. But when Digger found out about the party, he should have cancelled his plans. Digger says it was too late for that, somehow. Digger says he never called Emily obsolete -- just cocktail parties. Lorelai says she knows Digger knows he put Emily out of work, and that she's a corporate wife, because Digger's mother does the same thing. Digger says that taking these parties away from his mother would leave her more time with the pool boy. Lorelai says Digger made Emily feel small and unceremoniously cancelled something she'd been working on for days. Lorelai complains that because of it, Lorelai herself got fired, because she was going to cater. "Get out of town!" Digger says with much sarcasm, shocked that Lorelai would know anything about kitchens. Here's where we find out that Digger and Lorelai have known each other since they were kids, and in summer camp one year, Digger soaked the front of Lorelai's shirt. "I remember," he says. "Green t-shirt, no bra." He says he was the hero of Cabin Five. Lorelai says Digger will apologize to Emily, which he agrees to do. Lorelai says he'll give the party back to Emily, which he doesn't agree to. She calls him "Digger"; he calls her "Umlauts." Lorelai is aghast. There's some arguing over the nicknames. Digger says he'll apologize to Emily, but that's it. Lorelai tells him to let Emily have her party. He says he'll take Lorelai out to dinner instead. Lorelai says that she's not having dinner with him because he got her fired and insulted her mother. Digger says he didn't think Emily and Lorelai were so close. "We're not," Lorelai admits. Digger says Lorelai's being rather protective of Emily. Lorelai says that every family has a Fredo. (Isn't this the second Fredo-referenced episode this season? ["The second overall; that was the first this season." -- Wing Chun]) Digger says that Fredo got two in the back of the head. Digger tells Lorelai to have dinner with him. Lorelai says she won't. Digger says that Emily would hate it if she did. Lorelai agrees that Emily would hate it. Moment of silence. And just like when Traci Lords got Lorelai to buy a lawn jockey, now she's datin' the Digger. She smiles. "You suck," she says. Digger chuckles.