Once in the library, Rory tells Lorelai she's not getting into Harvard. She's completely unprepared and has no original thoughts. Lorelai says it's the fault of the jerks at Harvard who are too lazy to glance at the applications. Rory says it won't even matter, since her Hillary Clinton essay will be just like every other girl's Hillary Clinton essay. Lorelai asks how it's possible for everyone to have the same GPA. It's called a 4.0. Lots of people have done it, Lor. Rory says she has to limit her interest in things. From now on, she'll only be interested in travel. Lorelai freaks out and says that Rory can't do that, because all of the foreign students are freaks for travel, and that's why they're traveling to America for college. Rory pouts and huffs. Lorelai shrieks and freaks and I'm going into automatic shut-off with the high-pitched wailing. They are actually panting as they argue over who's allowed to freak out. Rory's cell phone rings. It's Paris. She's freaking out. Rory doesn't have time for Paris and her freak-outs, so she pretty much just hangs up on her. Lorelai and Rory force themselves to calm down by taking deep breaths. I love how Emily isn't supposed to be able to hear them yelling, and wouldn't have burst in to give her two cents on the entire thing. More bad lines about whether or not Rory can just accept the fact that she's not good enough. They agree that they need therapy and booze. They go back into the other room as we fade to commercial.
Lorelai's kitchen. The phone rings. It's someone asking for Lane in response to her ad. Lorelai takes the message, mocking the kid on the phone, and calling him "dude" a few times before pretty much hanging up on him. Lorelai yells for Rory to get up. The phone rings again. As Lorelai enters, Lane bursts into the room to take the call. She runs into the living room with the cordless. Rory enters, moaning and pouty, saying she didn't sleep so well. She opens the box of donuts as Lane walks back into the room telling the person on the phone that progressive rock was a great influence on music. She raids the refrigerator as she discusses bands I don't care about (Yes, Jethro Tull, The Jam). She worries out loud to Lorelai and Rory when her caller doesn't know who The Jam is. Lorelai tells Rory to skip college: she can drop out, and they'll form an all-girl band with Lane. I am ignoring the bad Bananarama joke they made here. Rory starts to leave as Lorelai wraps a donut in a napkin for her. Lane whines from the other room to her caller that she's so upset he didn't know that Kim Deal was in The Pixies before she was in The Breeders. "These kids have no sense of history!" Lane shouts after she hangs up on her caller.