Gilmore Girls
Application Anxiety

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C | Grade It Now!
Rory's Sudden Freak-Out

Emily's. Lorelai's already there, and Rory's on her way. Lorelai explains to Emily that Rory had a rumble after school. Emily shows Lorelai some college issues of magazines that she's been collecting for Rory over the years. Lorelai thanks her and says that Rory's probably seen all of them. Emily says that Lorelai should read them, since she's heard some shocking statistics over the years. The competition for Harvard is very hot: "People from China, Russia, India. Children from every country apply to Harvard. There's more competition than ever before." Lorelai says she knows that. "With the dot-com busts and the job market dwindling and the stock market going up and down like a yo-yo, everyone and his brother knows the best chance for success and financial security is not just to go to college, but to go to a top college," Emily adds. Oh, man. I'm falling asleep. Emily says that every kid who applies is just as qualified, all with the same résumé and GPA. She says that kids often get picked at random, since every single applicant is going to be just as good as another. She continues, saying that it's the new hot thing for young Hollywood celebrities to go to college, and that they get in on name recognition alone: "I was watching TV and that insipid Kate Hudson was talking about going to a university." It's the first and last time I'll ever agree with Daniel, but man, do I hate Kate Hudson. Lorelai goes to get them both drinks. Lorelai tells Emily again to butt out and not to worry about it, as if Emily hasn't been paying for Rory's education up until now and will certainly be paying for whatever college expenses Rory's scholarships don't cover. Lorelai says that Rory is special. Emily says that she and Lorelai know that, but that the idiots at Harvard may not realize it on their own. Rory enters, upset and flustered, and asks to talk to Lorelai alone. They're so rude to Emily. Lying right to her face like that.

Once in the library, Rory tells Lorelai she's not getting into Harvard. She's completely unprepared and has no original thoughts. Lorelai says it's the fault of the jerks at Harvard who are too lazy to glance at the applications. Rory says it won't even matter, since her Hillary Clinton essay will be just like every other girl's Hillary Clinton essay. Lorelai asks how it's possible for everyone to have the same GPA. It's called a 4.0. Lots of people have done it, Lor. Rory says she has to limit her interest in things. From now on, she'll only be interested in travel. Lorelai freaks out and says that Rory can't do that, because all of the foreign students are freaks for travel, and that's why they're traveling to America for college. Rory pouts and huffs. Lorelai shrieks and freaks and I'm going into automatic shut-off with the high-pitched wailing. They are actually panting as they argue over who's allowed to freak out. Rory's cell phone rings. It's Paris. She's freaking out. Rory doesn't have time for Paris and her freak-outs, so she pretty much just hangs up on her. Lorelai and Rory force themselves to calm down by taking deep breaths. I love how Emily isn't supposed to be able to hear them yelling, and wouldn't have burst in to give her two cents on the entire thing. More bad lines about whether or not Rory can just accept the fact that she's not good enough. They agree that they need therapy and booze. They go back into the other room as we fade to commercial.

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Gilmore Girls




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