Lorelai's kitchen. The phone rings. It's someone asking for Lane in response to her ad. Lorelai takes the message, mocking the kid on the phone, and calling him "dude" a few times before pretty much hanging up on him. Lorelai yells for Rory to get up. The phone rings again. As Lorelai enters, Lane bursts into the room to take the call. She runs into the living room with the cordless. Rory enters, moaning and pouty, saying she didn't sleep so well. She opens the box of donuts as Lane walks back into the room telling the person on the phone that progressive rock was a great influence on music. She raids the refrigerator as she discusses bands I don't care about (Yes, Jethro Tull, The Jam). She worries out loud to Lorelai and Rory when her caller doesn't know who The Jam is. Lorelai tells Rory to skip college: she can drop out, and they'll form an all-girl band with Lane. I am ignoring the bad Bananarama joke they made here. Rory starts to leave as Lorelai wraps a donut in a napkin for her. Lane whines from the other room to her caller that she's so upset he didn't know that Kim Deal was in The Pixies before she was in The Breeders. "These kids have no sense of history!" Lane shouts after she hangs up on her caller.
Luke's. A kid walks up and asks for "an ice-cold egg cream." The other patron informs Luke as to what an egg cream is, and then says he used to get them at Coney Island. "Go to Coney Island," Luke tells the kid. Another kid walks up and asks for a Brown Cow. He wants the ice cream in his root beer and ice cream to have been made the old-fashioned way: on the premises. Luke knows something's up, and it's confirmed when Kirk walks in and orders a chocolate phosphate. Luke asks why Kirk wants a phosphate. Kirk deadpans, "Because nothing says refreshment like a phosphate." Luke storms out with Cardigan Man's crew.
Doose's Market. Luke asks Cardigan Man what the hell is going on. Cardigan Man asks who finked. Kirk points at the kid. "Him. Him!" he says. "Snitch!" the kid sneers back. Cardigan Man confesses that he's trying to let Luke know about his great idea: an old-fashioned, turn-of-the-century soda shop. Luke actually has to say, "Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi." Cardigan Man says it'd be a "wholesome hang" for "today's teens." Luke says that Stars Hollow's streets are pretty safe. Cardigan Man shows Luke surveillance photos of Stars Hollow, exposing its seedy underbelly. "These are kids on skateboards," Luke says. Cardigan Man says "Z-Boys" and "Dogtown," both terms I'm sure there's no way in hell Cardigan Man would know. Luke says he doesn't want Cardigan Man's shoppe next to the diner. Not just no, but hell no. Luke says that if he dies he wants to be frozen next to Ted Williams, and when they thaw him he'll ask how Ted's doing and then he'll say, "Taylor, no." Cardigan Man asks what Luke's plans are for the space next to the diner. Luke plans on opening a skateboard and pop bottle shop with in-house experts to teach the sport of street slaloming. Kirk asks Luke if he's taking applications for his skateboard and bottle shop. Luke says he's interviewing today. Kirk asks if he should go home and change or if casual will suffice. Luke says he likes the "go home" part.