I don't like Jess. It's not the writing's fault, even though he's stereotypical. I didn't mind the stereotype when Dean's nemesis was named Tristan. I think the actor playing Jess isn't charismatic. I don't want Rory to be with him because I think he's boring and predictable. And not too cute. And smarmy. And boring.
Buckle up for the "Previously." Lorelai told Jess that Luke's a good guy. Jess asked whether Lorelai was sleeping with Luke, and told her to lay off him. Lane liked Henry. Jess and Lorelai yelled at each other. Rory played conduit for Henry and Lane's relationship. Sookie asked Jackson out on a date. Lorelai told Luke that Jess has problems. CuteDean and Jess fake-fought. Jackson told Sookie he wasn't ready for marriage, but that he'd be ready to move in. Sookie though he was telling a funny joke. Jess wrote in Rory's book. She called him "Dodger."
The gazebo is decorated, so Stars Hollow must be having a celebration. The signs read "Stars Hollow Bid on a Basket Fundraiser." And "Win Yourself a Delicious Home Cooked Picnic Lunch." The last one reads "Sunday at 12 noon" so we can all nitpick the time inconsistencies. "All proceeds go to the Stars Hollow Retirement Home." "All Signs sponsored by Doose's Market." Sign humor. Lorelai tells Rory that she's saving herself for William Holden. Rory reminds Lorelai that William Holden is dead. "Every great relationship has its obstacles," Lorelai reminds Rory. "You'd know that if you weren't dating Andy Hardy." I hate it when I don't know the reference. ["William Holden is from Sunset Boulevard and the original Sabrina, among many others. Andy Hardy is a character played by Mickey Rooney in several movies from the '30s and '40s, but he neither looked nor behaved like Dean, so it's a lame reference." -- Wing Chun]
Inside Doose's Market, Rory and Lorelai are searching through the basket selection. Lorelai says she doesn't want a basket that's too big, since she's just putting leftovers from the fridge inside it. She says this ceremony is cute. The women make food, the men bid on it, "and the world rotates backwards on its axis." At least this time they're acknowledging how anti-feminist this entire thing is, unlike "That Damn Donna Reed," where everybody worked hard to please the men. Rory says she thinks this is fun. Lorelai says that's because she has a pretty boy to bid on her basket. They split up to look for more baskets. Lorelai walks over to Miss Patty and says hello. Miss Patty searches through her wallet and brags that she bought her basket weeks ago. She says she's getting the husband itch again. She asks whether Lorelai has change for a dollar. There's a joke about quarters down g-strings. Miss Patty drops a picture out of her wallet. She tells Lorelai not to pick it up, but Lorelai does. It's a picture of her. Of Lorelai. In Miss Patty's wallet. Lorelai demands an explanation. "I'm a stalker?" Miss Patty tries. Miss Patty confesses that she uses the picture when she's trying to find dates for Lorelai. Lorelai moans and asks Miss Patty not to help Lorelai find someone. Miss Patty says that Lorelai deserves a nice guy, and that she's no good at finding them. Lorelai whines, and Miss Patty agrees to knock it off. Lorelai keeps the picture and walks away. "Stubborn girl," Miss Patty hisses.