Cardigan Man is pointing out a basket that came from his store. It's Lorelai's basket. Some guy bids five. Another bids ten. Lorelai tells the girl standing next to her that the basket holds two stale Pop Tarts and a Slim Jim. Another guy bids. More bidding. Lorelai starts to recognize the men bidding. They all keep bidding when she realizes that they are the three from Patty's envelope. Lorelai scurries over to Miss Patty. Miss Patty tells Lorelai that she can't be trusted to do it herself. Lorelai runs away....
...and over to Luke's. She tells Luke that he has to come with her. She takes his plates and gives them to Luke's assistant. Lorelai punches Luke's cash register trying to get the money out of it. Lorelai explains that Miss Patty thinks she needs a man. Luke says Lorelai does need a man -- one with a nice couch and extensive knowledge of Freud. She tells Luke he has to bid on her basket. Luke doesn't want to participate in anything Stars Hollow (and, I guess, neither do his customers). Luke tells her to bid on her own basket. Lorelai says she can't do that because it would be pathetic. Luke points out that chasing him around his diner is pretty pathetic as well. Lorelai says that it's a different kind of pathetic and not pathetic pathetic, and that she needs Luke to save her from the double pathetic. Luke storms off to buy her basket. Instead of saying "thank you," Lorelai says, "Hurry up!"
Because that scene took so long, they've got the three guys bidding in increments of fifty cents instead of the five or ten dollars from earlier. Luke complains that this basket is going to cost him fifty dollars, and that there's probably two stale Pop Tarts and a Slim Jim inside. Luke bids $52.50. One of the bidders said they aren't supposed to go over fifty. Tell that to Jess and CuteDean, buddy. Luke wins the basket, and Lorelai doesn't give him the $52.50 because she's Lorelai and doesn't think of other people. She apologizes to the three losers, making fun of their hobbies as she parades Luke to the front of the crowd. Cardigan Man announces that the auction is over, even though he's still standing in front of some baskets.
Lorelai tells Luke that now they have to sit and have a picnic. Luke complains that he now has to eat this thing even after he bought it. He asks whether Lorelai eats with her mouth open. Like he doesn't know. Lorelai says that women don't eat; they just look at food and then hop on a treadmill. They leave to go picnic.