Welcome back, Stars Hollow lovers. Who'd have known the show would still be here for the fourth season? We'd have known, that's who.
We open with strummy-strummy-la-la music. Pull back from Babette's garden gnomes to Lorelai and Rory pouting in their front lawn as a taxi van pulls away. Lorelai growls at it as it leaves. "And we're home," Rory moans. I guess Lorelai's supposed to look like she raided an Irish gift shop before she left, but she's wearing clothes easily purchased at Delia's or Urban Outfitters. Lorelai complains about how long the van ride was: "Everybody's life flashed before my eyes. That's how much time I had!" She says it felt longer than their train ride from Paris to Prague, when they had a group of French schoolboys behind them, singing and smelling like a soccer field.
"Oh my God!" we hear Babette warble from her doorway. She runs out of her house and over to the girls, shouting "You're back! Morey, they're back!" She asks if they're hurt or bleeding. She's hysterical. Lorelai says they're fine. "They're fine!" Babette shrieks. She jerks her head back toward her front door. "Morey! They're fine! Morey!" Morey opens the door and asks, "Yeah?" "They're fine!" Babette screams again. Babette says she was terribly worried, because according to the itinerary that Rory had given Babette, the girls were supposed to be home on Saturday. Lorelai shoots a raised eyebrow at Rory. "The itinerary that Rory gave you?" she asks. Rory looks away, faux-innocently. Babette further explains that when the girls didn't come back on Saturday, she panicked. "Morey!" she shouts. Morey opens the door. "Yeah?" "Didn't we panic?" she asks. "Yeah," Morey agrees. As he shuts the front door again, Lorelai asks Morey if he ever thought about just staying outside at times like these. Babette says that by Sunday night, she was terrified, and sure that the girls had been kidnapped by crazy Sandinistas, so she began calling consulates: "Aw, jeez, all of 'em!" Babette says they should go inside so that she can hear all about Europe: "Morey! I'm goin' in!" She runs past the girls and over to the house, where I'm assuming the front door is locked, but whatever. Lorelai asks Rory why she gave Babette an itinerary. Rory thought it would be good for someone to know where they were in case there was an emergency: "If we were caught smuggling hash over the border and we were thrown in some Turkish prison, wouldn't you want someone to know we were in Turkey?" Lorelai wants to know where they got this hash they were smuggling. Rory quickly responds, "You were at a café, you met a guy, he was sweet-talking you, he put the stuff in your purse when you weren't looking." Lorelai wants to know if he was cute. "He was not bad for a hash dealer," Rory replies. Lorelai gives Rory's gigantic backpack an appreciative pat.