Gilmore Girls
Ballrooms And Biscotti

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Stars Hollow Summer Vacation Essay

It's Rory on the phone, saying that Emily is holding her hostage, that she's in Iran in '79, and Lorelai is Jimmy Carter. Lorelai delivers the show's tag line: "This is about me." Lorelai says that Emily is only holding Rory hostage because Lorelai didn't show up for dinner, so she'll make an appearance to spring Rory. Rory tells Lorelai to come quickly because the videotapes rewind very slowly. Lorelai tells Luke that she has to go and get Rory because her mother is a psycho. She thanks Luke for the help and repeats that she's sorry. From the bushes, a leaf-covered, battered Kirk emerges. He's dragging a parachute behind him as he mutters, "Strong wind."

Emily starts up another tape and tells Rory she'll really be able to see a difference in the quality from the 1980s. She talks about a certain couple and how wonderful they are together -- Corky and Shirley. They're her favorite. She points out moves that would have been illegal in earlier contests. Rory is barely pretending to care. Lorelai shows up, and Rory couldn't be happier. Emily asks what she's doing there. Lorelai says she was in the neighborhood and wondered what was going on at the Gilmore house. Rory says that they're watching ballroom dancing competitions. Lorelai says that sounds fun, and asks if she can watch with them. Emily says that Lorelai wouldn't enjoy it, and that she's already missed the beginning. Lorelai says she's sure Emily can catch her up. Emily asks Rory to go downstairs and get Gerta to make her a cup of tea. Rory leaves. Lorelai says, "No, nothing for me, Mom. Thanks." Emily says that obviously Lorelai wasn't just in the neighborhood, and that she came by to get Rory. Lorelai says that Rory's been there longer than Patty Hearst's hostage crisis. Emily resents the implication, and says that Rory is there because she wants to be. Lorelai apologizes for missing dinner. Emily: "Come to dinner, don't come to dinner. It makes no difference to me. You're under no obligation to us anymore." She says she wouldn't want to keep Lorelai any longer, since she's busy. Lorelai begs to take Rory with her. "No," Emily says. "Tonight is my night with Rory," which it is. Lorelai accuses Emily of keeping Rory from her on purpose. Emily says that if Rory wants to leave she can ask to leave; she's not a four-year-old. Lorelai says that Rory doesn't want to hurt her feelings by asking to leave. Emily: "Why should she? She knows you'll be around any second to do it for her." Which is exactly what Rory did. Emily is totally in the right here, since she's almost completely in the dark as to why Rory and Lorelai wish they could go home right now. Lorelai yells that Emily always makes things so difficult. "Don't you understand? This is MY last night, with MY daughter! She goes off to college tomorrow!" Emily says she knows that, and is surprised that Lorelai wouldn't want to spend her last evening with her. "I do!" Lorelai shouts. "Which is why you should have come!" Emily shouts. "I couldn't!" "Wouldn't!" Emily corrects her. Lorelai pouts and huffs and swears to God. There's a pause before Lorelai asks where Richard is. "Oh, he went to be hours ago." This causes Lorelai to break into giggles. "Well, it was getting late!" Emily explains. This makes Lorelai laugh even harder. She says the jet lag is finally kicking in and giving her the giggles. "Um, you know, you've got Rory locked in here with the Mambo Kings and Dad went to bed." She laughs, giggling that she's so tired. Rory comes in here and Lorelai shrieks that she just got the Jimmy Carter joke. Emily says that Lorelai is having a fit. Lorelai is doubled over with laughter. "As soon as you're both done," Emily pouts. Never let in on the joke, is she?

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