Gilmore Girls
Blame Booze And Melville

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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We Blame Daniel Palladino

Mikhail tells the girls about his home village in Russia. Emily says it sounds wonderful. "People die very young there," says Mikhail. "Oh. Well, that doesn't sound so good," says Emily. She's great. Desperate to change the subject, she asks Lorelai what she's got in the bag she brought with her. "She's got Mystery Bag!" says Mikhail. Hee. Lorelai reluctantly says that the bag contains some advance copies of American Travel. Emily is thrilled, and asks to read them. Mikhail gets a copy as well, to help him learn English. I think he's got it down well enough, what with that Mystery Bag comment. You don't really need to say much more than that. After all, everyone loves a mystery! Emily opens the magazine and says that the pictures of the Inn are gorgeous and the article is a rave. As she starts to read more closely, Lorelai runs away.

Lorelai dashes off into the library, closing the door behind her. We hear Emily's shrieks of horror from outside. Lorelai locks the door. Emily runs to the door and tries to get in. Lorelai will not open it. Through the door, Emily calls Lorelai pathetic and can't believe she called her Pol Pot. Lorelai says she was trying to be edgy "like Chris Rock" by calling Emily walking anthrax and stuff. Emily hadn't gotten to that part yet. Boo, Lorelai! Emily was trying to remain spoiler-free, and you ruined it! Emily says she will not talk about this with Lorelai through the library door. Lorelai says she prefers it this way. She was mad at Emily when she said those things, didn't know about the whole on the record/off the record thing, and she's really sorry. Emily says she did not, under any circumstances, get into a "bitchfight" with Jimmy Carter over a hotel room: "It was that insufferable Rosalynn." Lorelai says that she's really sorry again, and that she won't come out of the library until Emily forgives her. Silence. Lorelai asks her mother to tell her if she is applying explosives to the door, so that Lorela can step away from the blast zone. Silence. Then, finally, Emily says she'll stop reading the article. Lorelai says they'll never talk about it ever again. Emily agrees. Lorelai unlocks and slowly opens the door. "Let's go back to the living room," says Emily, the magazine closed. At that point, an angry Mikhail makes for the front door, saying he has to leave. Emily runs after him.

Rory walks down a pier. I hope it's a short one, and a long walk. She finds the engagement party yacht and sees Richie chatting up a blonde. He notices Rory and says she's really early. He jumps off the boat and kisses her. He says he doesn't know how Rory got out of the dinner, but he's glad she did. Rory asks who the blonde was. Richie says she's a friend of his sister's, who is married and has a two-year-old. "Do you even want me here?" snaps Rory. Richie says he obviously does; after all, he invited her. She gives him some more attitude, and Richie pulls her away from the party and asks her what her deal is tonight. Rory says she's in a weird mood, and needs to be away from people for a while. Richie says he'll take her anywhere. Rory says she wants to go "out to sea." How about they take his yacht out for a spin? Richie says the yacht is currently engagement party central, so no. Rory quotes the beginning of Moby Dick, where Ishmael says that when he's in a bad mood and wants to punch everyone, he knows it's time to "take to the sea." That's how she feels, so she's going to take Melville's advice that was in reference to nineteenth-century whalers, who didn't end up well, but whatever. Rory points to a boat that looks "seaworthy" enough for her needs. Richie says it doesn't belong to them. "That's never stopped you before," says Rory. And this time, she grabs his arm. Off they run to danger and petty theft!

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Gilmore Girls

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