Back at Lorelai's, things aren't going too much better. Apparently, Gigi has wrecked the joint. "I don't know how you did it, kid," Lorelai says, "but everything I own is now broken or missing." Gigi continues to color, in permanent marker, on Lorelai's hardwood floors, oblivious to this subtle insult. Because she's three. And needs to be picked up by her belt loops and restrained in a corner until she learns how to behave. Harsh? Maybe, but when Gigi looks right in Lorelai's eye and runs the marker across the floor on purpose, because she is the spawn of hell, I don't think any such punishment other than mandatory jail time is harsh enough. Lorelai jerks the marker away, causing Gigi to scream like she's being murdered. "Okay," Lorelai says. "If that's your Donald Sutherland in Invasion Of The Body Snatchers impression, it's a really good one." Gigi takes a breath and begins to scream anew. Lorelai tells her that if she stops screaming, she'll give her a caramel apple (because clearly what this child needs is sugar) ["not to mention that I thought we were supposed to think Lorelai was a supermom who shouldn't have to resort to bribery to control a child" -- Wing Chun], and that seems to do the trick. "Nothing a little eardrum replacement surgery won't fix," Lorelai says, before the demon jumps up and runs into Rory's room, though she has been given strict instructions not to do so. Completely flabbergasted, Lorelai loses it. "I know this is a cliché," she yells, "but just wait 'til your father gets home!" Life lesson: never babysit the child of the man by whom you have had a child, who left you yet again in the lurch for the mother of this new child, and who was subsequently abandoned himself by that child's mother. They should put that in one of those Chicken Soup books.
Episode Report CardAl Lowe: B | 437 USERS: B-
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