Gilmore Girls
Bridesmaids Revisited

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Never The Bride

Whatever: Zach and Lane kiss, and stare at each other for a second. "So," Lane says, all dreamy smiles. "I should get back to work." Zach says it's okay; he wasn't thinking the ceremony should be that night or anything. "I get off at 8," says Lane. "I'll swing by," Zach answers, and I must be drunk, because after yelling about it when I watched it the first time, I am somehow charmed by it now. "I'm getting married," Lane says, as she floats past Luke, delivering food to the wrong people. Luke -- who must be equally charmed (because of course he would be, as one of his fellow curmudgeonly men has bagged yet another sweet, funny woman) -- says he knows and even sort of smiles as he guides the love-blind Lane around trying to keep her from serving someone the toaster as an entrée.

Chris arrives back at Lorelai's (and I can see daylight outside the door, though I think we're supposed to believe it's night?) to pick up his demon. Lorelai is exhausted, and Chris doesn't even ask why her house looks like it's been robbed for drug money. She tells him that Gigi is asleep in Rory's room. "She's all tuckered out, huh?" he asks. "Uh, yeah," Lorelai answers. "Either that or she knocked herself out when she was throwing books around Rory's room." Chris asks what she means. Lorelai says that when Gigi was done pouring chocolate milk on Paul Anka, she took to the book-throwing. Of course, that was before the spitting and furniture-kicking and the grand finale where she pulled all the sheets off the bed and tried to flush them down the toilet. "You're kidding," Chris says, instead of apologizing and falling to the floor in horror. "Oh," Lorelai says, "I'm really not." Chris shrugs it off and says that Gigi is a spirited kid. "'Spirited,' 'possessed,'" Lorelai jokes. "Potato, potahto."

Christopher DARES to condescend to the woman who raised his OTHER child BY HERSELF by telling Lorelai that three-year-olds can be a lot to handle if you're not used to them. Lorelai's jaw drops, but why she doesn't drop-kick Christopher in the NUTS, is something I cannot fathom. She tells him that Gigi's behavior was not typical three-year-old stuff, and that Gigi was more like a feral hyena. "So," Chris shrugs again," you guys didn't click." Lorelai has to look at him sideways, not believing that he doesn't get it. She says it's not about clicking; it's about Gigi being spoiled and never having heard the word "no" in her life. Chris gets pissed, but Lorelai stands her ground. "I'm not saying it's her fault," Lorelai says. "I'm just saying you could apply a little more discipline." Chris snarks that Gigi's a kid, and that kids are hard. Finally, Lorelai has had enough: "Yeeeeah," she says, neck snapping. "I KNOW kids. I raised one, okay?" I wish so bad she had said she raised one of his. Chris is pissed about the whole discussion, and says he and Gigi are going. He heads down the hall, and Lorelai tries to reason with him further, saying that it isn't just her -- the preschool interviews and the nannies quitting should be more hints that Gigi is awful. Chris makes excuses, getting angrier. "Giving Gigi whatever she wants," Lorelai says, as he carries the crazy kid out, "isn't going to make up for Sherry being a crappy mom and bailing." Chris smarts back that he's had enough of Lorelai's advice and her help, and walks out. Lorelai looks dejected, and even though she has committed the cardinal sin of giving someone advice about his child -- which one should never do, ever, on pain of death -- I have to side with her on this. I cannot stand Christopher, and I can't understand why they keep bringing him back, other than to show us what Rory will be in for if she continues dating Logan.

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