Gilmore Girls
Bridesmaids Revisited

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Never The Bride

As a matter of fact, that reality is coming to light right now as Rory sauces it up at the bar to medicate against the Logan breakup. She boozily tells the barkeep to hit her again, though he does remind her that she's on her third one. "What are you, my mother?" she says, demanding another drink and saying that, anyway, she's not driving; she points around, wildly, saying she lives right over...there. A waitress tries to take her bar naps, and Rory gets possessive, saying they are her napkins: "These came with my drinks." Weirdly, I like Drunk Rory. "I'm sick of people touching my stuff," she says, à la Napoleon Dynamite. Rory's joined at the bar by the equally drunk Doyle. Paris has kicked him out, he says. He's been there a while, he says, mixing beer and wine. And Malibu rum. "That sounds bad," Rory says. "Yep," Doyle nods, "it is bad. It's been a long, bad night." Rory sarcastically says that her evening has been really excellent, and they toast to really excellent evenings. He describes his fight with Paris, saying she has been miserable and sitting at her craft table, hot-gluing bead after bead. Rory is alarmed and says it all sucks: "Love sucks." She tells him she has to move out of her place, too: "Logan had many, many blondes for Thanksgiving." "It's terrible when you love them," Doyle commiserates, sweetly. "I wonder how long 'til Logan sleeps with somebody else," Rory slurs. "Bet he already has." She drains her drink as the bartender comes over, but when they make the camera cut, the glass isn't empty. Oops. She tries to order another, but realizes she has no money left after taking a cab back from the wedding. Doyle says he has some in his pants. "I'll hold still while you look," he tells her, which...hee. Good one, Doyle. Clearly not catching on to his clumsy advances, Rory tells him to come on; she'll help him outside.

Outside the bar, Doyle complains that he's cold, and Rory gives him her coat, like he's a little kid. "This is lovely," he says, hilariously. She helps him into the coat and they hug, boozily, until he starts kissing her neck. She shoves him away, asking what the hell. He apologizes, profusely, saying that he misses Paris so much. "Oh, God," Rory says, walking away and looking at Doyle like a disease. "Could this day get any worse?"

Lorelai is scrubbing marker off her floor when the phone rings. It's Chris, finally apologizing. "Well," she jokes, "the house was too perfect. Now it's lived in." He can't respond, and she notices that he's awfully quiet: "Gigi got a gun on you, or something?" Chris sincerely apologizes, again, and says that Lorelai was exactly right. "I'm just so mad at Sherry for taking off like that," he says. "Who leaves a kid?" Lorelai is being big about the apology but can't help putting in a "Well..." Chris says, yeah, he knows: "I tell you, Lor, I don't think I got how you felt about me until now, because I want to kill Sherry." Lorelai says she never wanted to kill Chris: "I wanted to key your car. Which I did once, by the way." Chris says it's not right that Gigi doesn't get a mom; he doesn't want her to feel like she's missing stuff, and wants her to be happy. He can't get her into any schools. Lorelai says that what Gigi needs is for Chris to be a parent -- which will mean his saying no sometimes -- and that it's not too late: "I'll help you in any way I can. I promise. We'll fix this." WHY is Lorelai volunteering to fix anything with him? What is with all the frustrated single parenting on this show? Does everyone have to have a child to take care of? Chris tells Lorelai that she's the greatest, but quickly has to get off the phone when Gigi starts breaking stuff and screaming again.

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