Gilmore Girls
Bridesmaids Revisited

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Never The Bride

Over at the diner, Lane is admonishing Kirk for eating scraps off an empty plate and cheating on his juice diet. "I didn't cheat," he says. "I expanded the definition of 'juice'...I feel dirty." Suddenly, Zach walks in, saying an aggressive "hey" to Lane, who tells him they're out of food. He tries to tell her about going to the bat mitzvah and talking to the guys, but Lane interrupts, saying she knows he ripped her flyer down: "Lou said he saw you do it, and I just want you to know that I think that sucks!" Zach says that "(a) Lou's a fathead; and (2) I had my reasons." Lane tries to turn away to keep serving drinks and stuff, and Zach insists that he has to talk to her: "It's all feeling wrong, you know?" He tried to write a song about it and everything, "but it was coming out way too emo, so I decided to just say it." Lane is still cross-armed, not looking at him, but Zach goes on (and I must say, this is my favorite acting from pfTL since I started recapping the show). He says he never feels good -- he wakes up, goes to work, brushes his teeth, goes to sleep, and never feels good. "You don't feel good!" Babette shrieks from a neighboring table. "We got it, go on!"

Luke comes in at this point, asking if something's burning down here. "Luke! Shh!" Lane says, and he backs off, apologizing. Lane tells Zach to go on. "Right..." Zach fumbles, "what was I saying? Oh, yeah. Lane. Will you marry me?" Everyone is stunned, but none more than Lane herself. "What?" she asks, along with the rest of the entire viewing audience who has seen not one ounce of sweetness in this relationship until maybe this moment. Lane asks if Zach's thought about this at all. He pulls out a ring, and she smiles. "Oh my God," she says, "you have thought about this." Zach says he got the ring at the pawn shop: "It belonged to, like, an Elk or a Moose, or something. But it looked cool, and I could afford it, so...I got it." Lane is very moved, smiling and tearing up. Zach's also about to cry: "You're smiling. Does this mean 'yes'?" She puts on the ring. "Yes," she says. "It means yes." The patrons of the diner can take it no more. "For God's sake," Babette yells, "kiss him, sugar!" From his seat at the counter, Kirk chimes in, waving a found bread crust: "Yeah, kiss him, sugar!" Everyone is happy, and even I acknowledge that it's a great scene -- but, damn. Have we all forgotten that Zach is kind of a socially retarded goon who is barely even nice to Lane and can't control his emotions? What is going on here? Plus, they have barely even seen each other since the band meltdown. PLUS, there was that amazing moment with Mrs. Kim when she and Lane threw back some Korean booze and declared Lane past all this Zach bullshit. Why, Palladinos? Why?

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Gilmore Girls

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