Gilmore Girls
But Not As Cute As Pushkin

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They've Got the Boat; They Just Need the Shark

Do you think David Spade had a lot of credit-card debt, and that's why he picked up this Capital One campaign?

So Anna wasn't at the Pub, and Rory's in total freak-out mode because she can't find Anna. She calls herself stupid, and says if she didn't have to "confront Logan," this wouldn't have happened. Now would be a great time for Marty to point out that Logan is a shithead, and that Rory shouldn't bother even talking to him, much less joining his secret society. And if that's what Rory considers "confronting," I say we really ought to go steal some stuff out of her bedroom. Like a bracelet. Oh, my gosh! The extra on the cell phone behind Rory and Marty is smoking a cigarette! Way to be a rebel, extra. You rock. Someone show Anna what college really looks like -- a guy on his cell phone, smoking a cigarette, standing outside of a bar.

Rory goes on and on to Marty about how frustrating Logan is and finally, thankfully, wonderfully, Marty has had enough. "Oh, stop it," he says. "He likes you." Rory plays the complete idiot, protesting, saying there's no way someone who liked her would do what he did in her classroom. Marty isn't having it: "Attention like that from people like Logan is like being tapped. You've been anointed. You're in." Rory still pretends she doesn't understand, so Marty says, "He likes you. Stop being so naïve. It's annoying." Keep going, Marty! Tell her everything else she does that sucks. Rory's cell phone rings, and for a second I think it's my own phone and dammit, I hate it when that happens. It's Headmaster Charleston, asking Rory how Anna's seemingly endless tour is going. Rory says it's going great: "Everything's great." Headmaster Charleston says this means he can inform Anna's parents that the underage girl the Yale campus police picked up from a party is not their daughter. Rory apologizes: "I tried. I just...I turned around for a moment." Headmaster Charleston doesn't want to hear it and hangs up, wishing her good luck at Yale. Rory mopes and complains that the girl spent one day with her and got sent home by the police and now she's going to retroactively flunk high school. Marty (and we) cannot stop rolling the eyeballs. Rory has become insufferable this season. "Crappy, crappy day," Rory says, offering to treat Marty to a cab that happens to be right there. Marty puts Rory in the cab, but decides to walk home. He slams the door on her and leaves. Keep walking, Marty. Never look back. Go date anyone else on that campus. Date Logan before you date Rory. In fact: yes. Please date Logan.

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Gilmore Girls

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