Gilmore Girls
But Not As Cute As Pushkin

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They've Got the Boat; They Just Need the Shark

Lorelai's driving somewhere around Stars Hollow in her Jeep and sees Luke yelling at an older woman. It looks like the woman lives next door to Kyle's parents. Luke is screaming at this woman to have a great time in Florida before a hurricane kills her. Lorelai immediately gets involved. Mrs. Thomspon, the patient elderly woman, is going to a nursing home and can no longer rent her garage to Luke because the people who are going to rent her house have cars. Mrs. Thompson explains to Lorelai that Luke is upset because his father had been renting that garage to build a boat: "And then when he died, Luke continued to pay for the garage." But now that Mrs. Thompson is moving to a nursing home, she can't take care of...didn't I just say that? I guess they said it twice, too. Anyway, Lorelai scolds Luke for yelling at a "little old lady." If anyone ever calls me that while I'm standing right there, I'm going to be so pissed off. You know, some days I wonder about Little Old Lady Friend, who now has to be about eleven or twelve, and I hope that she never read my recap where I said it looked like her three divorces had been rough on her. Luke yells that he has no place to store the boat on a moment's notice. Mrs. Thompson asks if they can sit down, since the screw in her hip is loose. You know, Mrs. Thompson looks suspiciously like Little Old Lady Friend. Lorelai asks if they can try to figure this out. Luke says he has the perfect solution: "Haul it off! Scrap it." He wants the boat cut up for firewood. He says that Mrs. Thompson can send him the bill after someone hauls it away. Lorelai follows Luke as he storms off. He says he's been paying Mrs. Thompson every month for fifteen years, and his dad had paid her every month for twenty years before. To which I say: thirty-five years of monthly rentals of this poor woman's garage? Dude. Get a shed. Buy a storage unit. Remember Dad's old garage? It was big enough for you to hide a stolen car in. Jess took the car; put the boat in it. Or park it in the lake. Why am I always the one with all the answers?

Lorelai drives Luke back to the diner. All fifty feet. Lorelai gives Luke a tour about as entertaining as the one her daughter is giving simultaneously a few miles away. She tries to kick him out of her Jeep, but Luke doesn't leave. He tells her instead that November 30th is the anniversary of his dad's death. Lorelai sympathizes with an "Oh, hon." Luke says that every year on that day, he disappears. He doesn't go out or see anyone. He is in a funk. "You have a Dark Day," Lorelai says. Luke says he figured he should tell her, since they're in a relationship and she might wonder why he won't answer the phone or be around to get conned into going to Miss Patty's party with the flip of some pretty hair. Lorelai: "The hair flip is that effective, huh?" Luke says if she combined it with a black dress, she could get him to be Miss Patty's backup dancer. Luke says he's never told anyone this before: "I don't really like to talk about it." Luke says that the boat thing made him flip out, but that he'll apologize to Mrs. Thompson. He says that his dad never finished making that boat, and that it's been sitting there for fifteen years. Lorelai thinks Luke was too hasty in making the decision to trash the boat. Luke says it's better to get rid of the thing now; he hasn't even looked at it since his father got sick: "If it's gone, I don't have to deal with it. It's time to move on. I'm fine. Really." Luke thanks Lorelai for the ride. They kiss goodbye.

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Gilmore Girls

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