Gilmore Girls
But Not As Cute As Pushkin

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They've Got the Boat; They Just Need the Shark

Lorelai and Sookie are moving things into Lorelai's garage. Actually it's just one big plant, but we see them pass a bunch of junk. Sookie complains about the three Thighmasters the elderly woman owned: "You'd think if you had three Thighmasters, you'd wear some slacks once in a while." Sookie asks for our benefit why they're lugging all of this stuff. Lorelai says she had to take all of this stuff in order to get Luke's boat. Also, Lorelai is a hoarder and this is a great excuse to have three Thighmasters. Also, also: I guess the garage had some space now that Lane's band practices at home. Lorelai says she's only hiding the boat in her garage for a few days and then she'll move it. She thinks she might put it in the old stables at the Dragonfly, so I guess they got rid of those horses. Too bad; I was hoping to see Michel dressed as a rodeo clown one day. Sookie asks Lorelai when she's going to tell Luke she bought his boat. Lorelai admits that she hasn't thought that far in advance. She has the same train of thought as my cat: "Me, me, me, me, food, poop, me, me, me, me, I NEED TO BE IN THE KITCHEN RIGHT NOW." Lorelai and Sookie concoct a plan to steal trees out of Jackson's yard while he's sleeping. The scene ends on a joke I don't get about Lorelai asking Richard Widmark to sign her grapefruit, but luckily we have the gigantic know-it-all I love called the internet: "In a famous 1952 I Love Lucy episode Lucy and Ethel take a bus tour of the stars [sic] homes while staying in Hollywood. When the bus stops at Richard Widmark's home, Lucy's favorite movie star [sic], she asks the bus driver to let her off the bus to pick a grapefruit. In trying to get the grapefruit Lucy falls over the wall and gets trapped on Widmark's property."

Okay, so this is a little weird. Yale has turned one of its classrooms (the only one we ever see when Rory's taking a class that's smaller than three hundred students) into a Speed Dating event. The boys sit at desks and the girls stand at attention, ready to move desk to desk in the -- you guys all know what Speed Dating is. For Pete's sake, they use it in every television show. When Leno did a parody of it two years ago, you know these jokes are a little stale. But regardless, we love Paris, so it's worth it to spend some time with her, I guess. The bell rings and Paris sits down. Guy: "I'm Jack." Paris: "Paris." Jack: "Did your parents travel a lot?" Paris: "Why?" Jack: "Your name's Paris." Isn't it amazing they haven't made a "Paris Hilton" joke with her yet? Particularly in this scene, they had the opportunity. Anyway, Paris lays into the kid, asking if his parents changed a lot of flat tires or plugged the phone into the wall often. Hee. Jack's all, "No." Paris says it's great they cleared that up right away. She asks for another fascinating talking point. He asks her major. Paris scoffs, asking if he wants to know her sign and whether she comes there often as well: "Or if I'm a Britney or a Christina?" Is there even a difference anymore? Paris asks Jack whether the last time he had an interesting thought was when he considered flinging himself off of a building. The bell rings, and Paris moves on. "Bye, Jack," she says. "I'll write Mother immediately."

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Gilmore Girls

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