Gilmore Girls
Christopher Returns

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | Grade It Now!
Family Matters

The next morning, Lorelai is awake in bed and suddenly remembers she was supposed to be at Luke's. She runs out the door in her pajamas.

Luke walks over to the diner and finds Lorelai sitting in her coat and pajamas on the front steps. She starts apologizing profusely and he says it's fine. She says they had a date and that she's a rat for not being there. He says it wasn't a date, it was just painting. She asks to reschedule. She says she can do it tonight or now. He asks if it was an emergency. She says it was, and starts lying, but then she says it wasn't an emergency, and that she's just a rat. "Something came up," Luke starts. He follows it with "someone." Lorelai quietly admits that it was because of someone else. She asks if he's okay. He says he is and then excuses himself into the store.

Christopher is making a pot of coffee when Lorelai walks in the house. He asks if she wants some coffee. She says she doesn't. He says he knows something is wrong, and brings up the night before. Lorelai says it was a huge night, and that she's never seen her father almost punch someone before. She continues recapping until she gets to the two of them having sex, which she calls stupid. She says she ended up standing up a friend and it hurt her to hurt him and she continues babbling until she says the words "flaming baton," and that's where I don't recap her entire monologue, because anything ending with "flaming baton," isn't worth my fingers flying. Christopher stops the babble by saying that he wants to marry Lorelai. Lorelai's answer: "And the hits just keep on coming." Christopher tells her just to think about it. Lorelai says about seven different ways that Christopher has lost his mind. Christopher says he wants them to be a family. Lorelai continues walking backwards, saying that he doesn't even know what a family is. She says it's a big commitment, responsibility, and requires coming home at the same time every day. Christopher says he can be a family man and that he's responsible now. Lorelai says he can't even buy a book without having his credit card declined. Christopher, now defeated, said he told Rory not to tell her. Lorelai says that Rory didn't tell her -- that the rest of the town did, and that Rory reluctantly confirmed that it was true when she asked. Lorelai chastises Christopher for telling Rory to lie to her. Christopher says she's his daughter too. "More like your playmate," Lorelai says. Christopher says he's just as mature as she is, kicking off my favorite line of the episode. Lorelai: "What? The Offspring is your favorite band." Christopher counters that Lorelai is into Metallica. Lorelai says that Metallica is "way more substantial" than The Offspring. Christopher: "Here we go. It's the same Black Sabbath riff all over again." Lorelai: "The Offspring have like, one chord progression. They used it over and over. They just pop on new words and call it a single." Lorelai says she doesn't want to talk about this anymore. Christopher reminds her that he was the one that wanted to get married when she was pregnant. Lorelai says that they were too young and wouldn't have made it. Christopher says they're not too young now. Lorelai says that she needs some coffee now.

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Gilmore Girls




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