Mad props to Emily who emailed this slightly VCR-phobic recapper directions on getting closed captioning to work. Huzzah!
Previously on Gilmore Girls: Luke and Lorelai flirt. Philllipppe tries to flirt with Rory. Paris is jealous. Luke and Lorelai flirt. CuteDean and Philllipppe get into a fight at the formal, which is sadly the only CuteDean action of this episode. Emily asks Lorelai about Luke, which is sadly the only Emily action we're getting in this episode. CuteDean tells Rory that Philllipppe "has a thing" for her.
We open with Lorelai going through her closet. Rory is lying on her back on the bed. Lorelai says she can't find anything. Rory begs her to look again. Lorelai says she wears everything in that closet. Rory walks over to the closet and says, "The red and black halter top." Lorelai fingers the sleeve of the halter and says gravely, "Oh. No." Rory asks why. "Uh, it's a classic?" Rory informs Lorelai that the halter has "rhinestones and zebra stripes on it." Lorelai: "So?" Rory: "Tassles." Lorelai says she's had the halter since she was seventeen, causing women around the world to screech, "Oh, how sad for her that she might have to give up something she can still fit into from when she was a teenager. Bitch!" Rory reminds Lorelai again about the tassles on the halter. Lorelai calls Rory unsentimental. Rory calls Lorelai a "hopeless pack rat." Lorelai says she doesn't understand why she has to break up her happy clothing family. Rory says, "Because it's a charity rummage sale." Lorelai says she knows. Rory reminds Lorelai that she offered to organize and help run the sale. Lorelai explains that it was "very, very hot in that room that day" and that she could have been talked into doing anything. Rory says it was Lorelai's idea. Lorelai: "Okay. I'm a very sick woman, and that should be apparent to anyone." Rory tells Lorelai to step away from the closet. Lorelai pretends to block the door until Rory pushes her away. Rory grabs a hunk of clothes and says that those are going. Lorelai mock-protests, and watches all sorts of her clothes (from the middle of the closet, so you know they are clothes that she actually wears) get added to the donation pile. The closed captioning has no problem abbreviating the Gilmore sentence structure. Why can't I just do it? Rory tells Lorelai to go through her top drawer and pull out anything she finds that she wouldn't want to be caught wearing in a car accident. Man, that is nasty. Who gives away underwear at a rummage sale? If you bought your panties used, you are no friend of mine.