Gilmore Girls
Dead Uncles And Vegetables

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C- | 1 USERS: C+
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The Dangers of Danielworld

Independence Inn. Michel asks about the nine rooms set aside without a name or a credit card to hold. He asks if it's a mistake. Lorelai says they are for Luke. Michel asks if there's a French fry convention or a Milkshake Symposium. Lorelai says it's a personal thing for Luke, and that she's covering it. "Soda Pop Seminar?" Lorelai tells him to stop. Michel counts to three internally and then asks, "Pickle Party?" Lorelai turns around to see Emily walk into the Inn. She panics, wondering why Emily would be showing up. Did she miss an appointment? Is it somehow Tuesday already? Wasn't that just yesterday? Emily asks if they have to make appointments to see each other. Lorelai says they don't. Emily says she isn't there to see Lorelai, she's there for Sookie. Emily excuses herself. Lorelai follows.

The dining hall is filled with tables set for a wedding. Sookie coos that it's beautiful. Lorelai asks what they're for. She didn't see them come into the Inn? Sookie says they're for her wedding. Emily walks in and smiles. She asks Sookie if it is everything she said it would be. "And more!" Sookie beams. Lorelai asks what's going on. Sookie explains that it's a company's sample table setting, and that Emily set her up to take a look at some sample arrangements. This company did Céline Dion's wedding and Steven Speilberg's daughter's Jack Russell Terrier's "Bark Mitzvah." Emily snaps to someone to fix the asymmetrical flower arrangement. Lorelai stage-whispers to Sookie that she thought Sookie wanted a small wedding. Sookie says it is simple. Lorelai asks how Emily got so involved. Sookie says that she's not involved; Emily just offered to show Sookie a few samples of flowers and table settings. Lorelai moans that she thought they were going to do the flowers themselves. Sookie says it'd be too much of a hassle. Lorelai says that flowers cost a fortune. Sookie says the samples are free and that there's no harm in looking at their arrangements. She says it's fun. Lorelai says she doesn't want to take away Sookie's fun (sure she doesn't), but warns her that she's entered "Emilyland," a scary place where money just seems to get spent quickly. Sookie promises that she's okay. Lorelai excuses herself to go back to her other job waiting tables. Emily barks that there's a fingerprint on one of the glasses. It's Lorelai's fingerprint, but Emily asks the table-setting girl for her hand.

Luke's. Rory refills Cardigan Man's cup of coffee as he babbles for three pages about turnips. His turnips are unassuming, humble turnips. Rory tells Lorelai that Cardigan Man is "wigging." Lorelai says he's been sitting there "like the final days of Dick Nixon" for an hour. A customer enters, calls Lorelai "young lady," and asks if they're still serving breakfast. Lorelai brags that they serve it all day. He asks for two eggs sunny-side-up on toast. Lorelai asks him to order his eggs scrambled instead. He doesn't want to, but she won't stop talking until he does. He changes his order to scrambled so Lorelai can yell to the invisible cook: "Adam and Eve on a raft and wreck 'em!" She's so proud of herself. Then she explains that it's "real-life diner talk" and how "wreck" means to scramble the eggs. Yeah, we got it, Lorelai. Cardigan Man can't believe Babette's shopping over there and that Miss Patty's back. Kirk shows up and tells Lorelai he's not sure what to order for lunch. Wow, these people have massive disposable incomes. Lorelai suggests a hamburger with strawberry ice cream and chocolate sauce for dessert. Kirk agrees and Lorelai shouts, "Yo! Burn one and pass me a pink stick and throw some mud on it!" She wiggles and says she loves diner talk. Naked Trucker walks in and says that it's freezing outside. Lorelai says there's a cold snap going on right now and asks if he'd like "a hot blonde with sand." Naked Trucker says he'd love a cup of coffee with cream and sugar. He says to make sure the foot's out the door so Lorelai puts it in a to-go cup. Naked Trucker says he's glad the cold weather hasn't stopped his customers. Lots of vegetable soup being made tonight. Nice to know some people don't get all of their meals from Luke's. Naked Trucker says hello to Cardigan Man. He goes on about how busy he is. Cardigan Man calls him "Van Halen Hair." Watch Cardigan Man's food move around the table! Kirk says the store was so dead he thought it was closed. He jokes that the cashier was reading a tabloid and tapping on the counter with an astrological scroll. Lorelai brings Naked Trucker the coffee. He leaves. Cardigan Man shakes his head. Lorelai leaves to the back room, the diner completely neglected.

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