I'm now so bored and so disappointed with the first flashback episode that I do a load of laundry and vacuum, wishing that sometimes when the episode is so unworthy of ever revisiting, we just vote not to recap it, put it out of rotation, and as a group pretend it never existed. Let's give this episode a Beanie Baby party, shall we?
Chilton. Fraulein and Louisa are discussing Paris and her new boyfriend. They're just now deciding to talk about it. They think it's a good thing that Paris has a boyfriend. They wonder why Paris didn't tell them about the boy. They ask Rory what Jamie's like. Rory says she doesn't ever feel like talking about Paris again. The girls ask if Jamie's sexy, if he has a trust fund, or if he has friends. Louisa asks if there's a spinoff possibility, giving themselves a shout-out. Paris storms by, calling another group to order for some reason. She passes out the photo of the Yearbook staff that they're going to use. She says she got one for everyone, so they don't need to re-enact a Barney's clearance sale. Rory sees that she's sneezing in the picture. Paris says that every picture had something wrong with it, so she picked the one that was the best for the largest number of people. Rory says they took ninety pictures, and that she has a hard time believing this was the best one. She says she looks like she's in Cirque du Soleil. "Life can play some cruel tricks sometimes," Paris says. I'll say. Back when my comedy troupe was taking headshots, about five years ago, we were all on the back patio of this bar. The photographer was keeping the shutter open for a number of seconds so that the shot had some action to it. There were nineteen of us in the troupe at the time. I was sitting on some stairs in the top middle of the photograph. But the photographer didn't tell us when he was taking the pictures, on purpose, so the shots looked candid and casual. The shot that the producer picked was one where apparently I was turning my head back and forth as I talked to two people on either side of me. Or there was a glare on my face. Something. I looked exactly like The Elephant Man. Exactly. It looked like my face was melting, that I was crying with pain as the sun warped my pretty, pretty face. Everyone found it amazingly hysterical. It happens, Rory. You're lucky your Yearbook picture isn't getting sent to HBO, okay?