Rory shows up at the theatre again to review "some music thing." But this time, she's even more annoying. She's on her cell phone! Great time to be chatty. Rory's already the dickiest, meanest critic in Yale's history. In a fight over who's a shittier person, Lorelai tells Rory that she's not going back to Luke's for a while, since he's seeing stupid Nicole and refuses to divorce her just because Lorelai said so. Lorelai is cleaning her kitchen. In four years, I've never seen this woman open a cabinet and put something in it. It's so strange that it's jarring. Lorelai actually says that this is Luke's problem, and that he's got to realize that whoever is in his life is also in hers. Rory asks if Lorelai's going to tell Luke about Digger, and how something's happening there. Lorelai scoffs, but then asks if it'd be crazy if she dated Digger. "A little," Rory says. That only makes it more interesting to Lorelai, if it would make her daughter unhappy, too. Rory says that she and the ballerina won't ever be friends, but at least Sandra's stopped threatening Rory. Rory talks on the phone all the way until when the lights go down. Rudeness! Rory's immediately unhappy with the production, which opens with a crappy rendition of "Michael, Row the Boat Ashore." What lab theatre is Rory hanging out in? Because Yale has a fucking conservatory, and is one of the most coveted acting programs in the nation. It is where Actors, with capital letters, are born. Whatever.

Next week we might overdose on Yale merchandise.