Lorelai can't believe that Doyle used the word "yawn," and tells Rory so as they walk through Stars Hollow with Lane. Lorelai offers up The WB's official curse word to call Doyle a "jerk." I've mentioned this before, but I hate that this network always uses the word "jerk" when they mean any kind of cussword. Nobody calls anybody a jerk. ["I do, but I agree that it's overused on The WB." -- Wing Chun] Lorelai and Lane tell Rory that Doyle should have been more diplomatic in his criticism, and not as insulting. Rory says she was tired when she wrote it, so it probably wasn't her best work. She says that she should write her articles before she studies. Hey, Rory: your nightlife is crazy yawn. Lorelai says that Doyle needs "more learnin'." Lane goes way back to scripts from the '80s to say, "Kick him where the sun don't shine." What? Lorelai tells Lane she's not good at threats. Lane says she knows, and that she hates that about herself. Rory smiles and decides to chalk this whole thing up to experience. La, la, la-lah, lah-lah, lah, la, LA, laaaaahhhhhh!
Lane asks what time it is. It's five to 4. That means it's five minutes before Dave calls Lane, so Lane says she should get home. Ya think? Lorelai asks if "we're" still mad at Dave. Lane says that we aren't mad at Dave at all. She and Dave are just perfect. Lorelai says it must be that they're mad at Jackson. Rory says they aren't. Lorelai says they must be mad at Gypsy's husband. Rory says that Gypsy isn't married. Lorelai says that this will bug her. It's Jess, Lorelai. It's Jess we're mad at. And Christopher. And even Max, a little, I guess. You're usually mad at Emily, Lor. And Taylor. And I think you were mad at Traci Lords. Lane says that Dave is great, even though he's thousands of miles away, and seems a little jealous that they've replaced him in the band. "And that's why we're mad at him!" Lorelai concludes. Rory says they aren't mad at Dave. Lane says she misses him. Rory has the line to make everybody get their hopes up falsely: "Well, he'll be home for Christmas, right?" Lane says he'd better be. She doesn't know? Why can't Lane and Dave have a real long-distance relationship? Why can't Lane be as cool as she used to be? Why isn't anyone having any kind of relationship this year -- one that makes us feel something, even if it's the hatred we used to have when Jess would mistreat Rory? At least we felt something then. Crap. This season got so blah that it makes me miss Jess! What has happened to me? I'm dying for conflict so much I'd rather watch something I hate than something that is like turning off my brain for an hour.