Lorelai didn't get the memo about Nicole being back, and does a really crappy job at hiding her utter horror and disappointment. Nicole does a pretty lame job hiding the fact that she's taking great glee in watching Lorelai squirm. Lorelai has the audacity to ask Nicole if Luke even knows she's back. Nicole says he's in the back: "Do you want him?" Lorelai shouts, "No! I don't want him! I don't want him!" Heh. I'm now recapping from the hollow in Nicole's collarbone, which is so deep and pronounced that I'm currently bathing in it. Nicole, cool as a cucumber, lets Lorelai know she's back, she's there, and this is where she's supposed to be. Lorelai suddenly remembers that she just ate, and awkwardly excuses herself. Nicole gives a Cheshire-cat grin as she eats a piece of a french fry. (Not too much, Nicole! Wouldn't want to lose those ice-chipping collarbones!) If Nicole will be the one person in Stars Hollow to give Lorelai shit for her belief that she is the world's axis, then I wholly welcome Nicole to Stars Hollow. Give her the key, I say.

Lane calls Rory. Lane is freaking out. She got in a huge fight with Dave because of MamaLane. She says that MamaLane wanted Lane to give Dave her special marriage jug, a jug that has been passed down for generations from Kim females to boy suitors when the girls are ready to get married. MamaLane told Lane about it when she was little. Rory says that this is serious, and that she had forgotten all about the marriage jug. Lane says she didn't, because she's been staring at it her whole life. She used to think it was a nice little tradition, but now that she's faced with handing it over, she doesn't want to. She and Dave got into a fight about it, because Dave freaked out when Lane told him about the jug. Lane's a little hurt that Dave was so down on the idea, even though she's not interested in getting married yet, either. They're both in school and they are so young. Rory says she's seen enough young marriages these days, giving a shout-out to all WB programming. Lane says she'll have to talk to her mother about it. Rory sees that someone has written "Die, Jerk" on the whiteboard on her dorm room door. They wrote it in comic sans, too! And without a comma! If anything, it's some kind of German: Die Jerk. Paris opens the door quickly, thinking that the person who vandalized their door might have been outside again. She says they're assembling inside. Rory gets off the phone with Lane.