Gilmore Girls
Die, Jerk

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C | Grade It Now!
Rory Tries Recapping

Emily enters, complaining that Richard's not ready for dinner yet. Richard and Digger come back into the room. Emily is shocked that Digger is still there. Digger smarms that he wouldn't leave without saying goodbye. Digger plays the martyr, saying he'll be stopping at a hamburger stand on his way home to pick up his dinner, until Richard says that Digger should stay for dinner. (They skip a good joke here when Richard asks Emily when the last time was that she had a cheeseburger. "Atlantic City" would have been a good deadpan answer.) Emily doesn't want to invite Digger, and tries to say there's not enough food, but Richard insists until Emily asks Digger to stay for dinner. Lorelai is impressed, because Lorelai is drawn to asshole-ish, smarmy types who eventually let you down with how selfish they are. I hope Richard gets an earful from Emily tonight.

Dinner. Digger compliments the lobster thermidor. Lorelai asks if you can thermidor any other foods. Emily says she doesn't think so. She tells the maid that they may have to skimp tonight, because they have unexpected guests. Richard corrects Emily again. Digger tells Richard that the high-speed internet access will free up his time. "How?" Emily asks along with me. Digger says that Richard will use email more so that he can have conversations in shorter periods of time. Wrong. All email does is make it easier to misunderstand and delay conversations that need to happen immediately, so that a topic can take days to resolve when a simple five-minute phone conversation would suffice. Emily says that email seems cold to her. "But fast," Digger says. Also, Richard will be hanging out on forums like ours, because having high-speed internet access makes it that much easier to procrastinate. It's taking Solitaire and making it talk back. I'm adding a little sidenote here that has nothing to do with anything to mention that there's thunder outside right now because a storm is coming. I don't think I've heard thunder in the three years I've been living in Los Angeles. In fact, it's filling me with such nostalgia for Texas that I want a breakfast taco and a Shiner Bock. The table then does a giant advertisement for the internet. Lorelai says it's not just porn anymore. Rory admits that she's on it constantly. Have we gone back in time to 1999, when I had this conversation with my own parents? Lorelai says that Emily can do a lot of shopping online. Emily says she likes going to stores and seeing people and touching shoes. She likes having people help her pick stuff out or exchange it. Lorelai says that they usually forget to return things when they buy them online, and just eat the money. Lorelai and Rory decide to go to real stores more often. I don't know how Lorelai would be able to dress from every shop on Melrose if she stops buying her clothes online. Digger reminds everyone that the internet is "really good."

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Gilmore Girls




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