Gilmore Girls
Die, Jerk

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C | Grade It Now!
Rory Tries Recapping

Okay? Moving on. Yale's newspaper office. Paris is complaining to Rory about having to jump through hoops with these "tryout articles," arguing that it's an arcane practice. Rory thinks it's a "time-honored tradition." Rory can't find her review of the chamber-music recital in the paper. Paris complains that the paper prints everything they write, no matter how bad it is: "They'd print my mattress tag if it was in the right margins." Rory says her article isn't there. Paris says it just means parakeets will be crapping on something else in the morning. She complains that all of the bagels are stale.

Enter the editor guy, who I learn from the forums that he's Danny Strong from Buffy. Those four words in that order mean nothing to me. He could be Strong Buffy from Danny and I'd make the same face of fake acknowledgment. But his name on the show is Doyle. Anyway, the kid's about 5'3", and immediately offers Rory a Starbucks coffee mint, saying he's addicted to them: "So is Bob Woodward. So I hear. Not that I'm copying him." Rory asks if she had turned her article in late, causing it not to appear in the paper. Doyle tells Rory that it didn't run because it was yawn-worthy. Snoozeville. Take that, Rory! Your perfection is marred. Marred! Doyle tells her not to sweat it, and that she'll do better next time. Rory immediately looks to the floor, because those are words that people reserve for losers, and Rory's never had a "next time" before, and this is all so confusing. And why didn't they let Rory have a breakdown here? Or at least let her fume to someone, mortified that this has happened? Why can't she and Paris break into the copy room late at night and rearrange her article so it's on the cover? Something. Something! But, no. Rory's handling it with the calm collectedness we normally see in freshman girls. Doyle tells Rory that his mother liked the recital, since she's old. Paris freaks out when she hears that Rory's article didn't get in, until she flips the paper open and sees that her own article got in. Paris smiles and sighs with relief. She leaves to get a bagel.

Lorelai can't believe that Doyle used the word "yawn," and tells Rory so as they walk through Stars Hollow with Lane. Lorelai offers up The WB's official curse word to call Doyle a "jerk." I've mentioned this before, but I hate that this network always uses the word "jerk" when they mean any kind of cussword. Nobody calls anybody a jerk. ["I do, but I agree that it's overused on The WB." -- Wing Chun] Lorelai and Lane tell Rory that Doyle should have been more diplomatic in his criticism, and not as insulting. Rory says she was tired when she wrote it, so it probably wasn't her best work. She says that she should write her articles before she studies. Hey, Rory: your nightlife is crazy yawn. Lorelai says that Doyle needs "more learnin'." Lane goes way back to scripts from the '80s to say, "Kick him where the sun don't shine." What? Lorelai tells Lane she's not good at threats. Lane says she knows, and that she hates that about herself. Rory smiles and decides to chalk this whole thing up to experience. La, la, la-lah, lah-lah, lah, la, LA, laaaaahhhhhh!

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Gilmore Girls




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