Gilmore Girls
Die, Jerk

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C | Grade It Now!
Rory Tries Recapping

Doyle likes Rory's article and calls it "nice." He adds that she did a great job, and hands it off to someone to take it to layout. This time, Rory takes the coffee mint.

MamaLane's shop. A man is complimenting MamaLane on some piece he's just purchased. MamaLane tells him that it's very fragile, so he should keep it away from young children. "We don't have children," he says. "You should," MamaLane says, opening her front door. "Everyone should have children." The world according to MamaLane is a complex one. MamaLane gives Lane a large box to ship to Dave in California. I guess MamaLane likes that Lane and Dave are dating, and doesn't mind that the last time we saw MamaLane she was getting told off by a "drunk" Lane about how much she likes Dave. In the months and months since we've seen MamaLane, she's had time to cool off about it all, and now wants Lane to send Dave presents on her behalf. Lane is shocked when she sees what's inside the box. It's a jug.

Michel walks with Lorelai somewhere, at some time, whatever, and says he did some research and determined that Bruce was right: babies shouldn't hear baby talk. He called all of his friends and relatives with babies and told them to stop talking to them immediately -- stop completely -- to avoid retarding anything in their children. Lorelai begins baby-talking to Michel, because she likes talking baby talk and needs someone to talk it to. Suddenly I have another reason to be thankful we never saw any love scenes with Max and Lorelai (scary salami nipple aside). Michel leaves, and Lorelai enters Luke's.

Lorelai didn't get the memo about Nicole being back, and does a really crappy job at hiding her utter horror and disappointment. Nicole does a pretty lame job hiding the fact that she's taking great glee in watching Lorelai squirm. Lorelai has the audacity to ask Nicole if Luke even knows she's back. Nicole says he's in the back: "Do you want him?" Lorelai shouts, "No! I don't want him! I don't want him!" Heh. I'm now recapping from the hollow in Nicole's collarbone, which is so deep and pronounced that I'm currently bathing in it. Nicole, cool as a cucumber, lets Lorelai know she's back, she's there, and this is where she's supposed to be. Lorelai suddenly remembers that she just ate, and awkwardly excuses herself. Nicole gives a Cheshire-cat grin as she eats a piece of a french fry. (Not too much, Nicole! Wouldn't want to lose those ice-chipping collarbones!) If Nicole will be the one person in Stars Hollow to give Lorelai shit for her belief that she is the world's axis, then I wholly welcome Nicole to Stars Hollow. Give her the key, I say.

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Gilmore Girls




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