It's Friday night, which means dinner at The Grandparents' house...though, actually, we've hardly seen and FNDs in a while, and isn't Logan confined to bed in a full body cast, or something, thus needing constant bedside vigilance by Rory? Or, is that cast thing just wishful thinking on my part?
Lorelai and Rory are arguing, presumably over the changing hair color of Ashlee Simpson (or maybe Nicky Hilton, now that I think about it). Lorelai is shocked that Rory would think [whoever]'s hair looks better dark, and is so adamant about it, she waves her fork-spronged meatball around in the air for emphasis. "The dark hair makes it look like she is trying too hard not to look like her sister," Lorelai insists. "Plus, she does not have the nose for dark hair." Still brandishing the meatball, she continues, saying that dark hair is like a beacon highlighting everything wrong with your face, while blonde hair just makes it all blend together in a haze of beige. "Nuts," Rory says, shaking her head. "You're nuts!" When Lorelai tries to retaliate with a thrust of her fork, Emily has had enough. "All right, that's it," she says, standing. "No more spaghetti and meatballs." Emily orders the current maid to come and clear the plates, and says that she should have known better: Lorelai and Rory always fight when she serves spaghetti and meatballs. "No, no," Lorelai tries. "We're not fighting! We're just...bonding!" As if Emily would ever serve anything so banal as spaghetti, anyway. What's next on Friday's menu, chili dogs? Emily has the plates cleared, despite Rory's protests that she is starving. "Spaghetti and meatballs," Emily says, "is just too much excitement."
Richard comes back from making a phone call and sees the empty table. "I told you not to serve spaghetti and meatballs," he says. "They always fight." Rory says that they fight just as much when they have Chinese, but Emily demands that they stop talking about food and talk about her. She tells them that, because she hates to wear glasses, she's going to have LASIK surgery. "Personally," Richard says, all sweet, "I like you with glasses." Lorelai: "It's that whole 'dirty librarian' thing, right Dad?" Hee. Moving on, Emily drops the minor bombshell that she and Richard have recently taken Christopher to lunch. Lorelai is not happy about it, but The Grandparents say that they just wanted to clear the air with him over the tuition hooha. Richard says that he and Emily figured it was time for a "sit-down." Lorelai squints. "A 'sit-down'?" she snarks. "What, did you get Clemenza to hide a gun in the bathroom first?" Richard ignores Lorelai's sarcasm and says that they just wanted Christopher to know they weren't angry with him anymore, and that they all had a nice time. Lorelai and Rory both look skeptical, but The Grandparents continue. Apparently, since they now have all this extra money laying around that they would have used for Rory's tuition, they figure that they'll just add a little to it and donate it all to Yale in Rory's name. Immediately, they start rhapsodizing about the buildings, wings, or auditoriums they'll name after Rory. "The Rory Gilmore Cultural Center!" Richard says. "The Rory Gilmore Observatory!" Emily says. Rory tries to interject, saying that while she is very grateful, the fact that she is still a student at Yale might make it awkward to have her name on a building, but they ignore her and continue the daydream. "The Rory Gilmore Library!" Emily shouts. Richard has a stroke of genius. "The Rory Gilmore Medical Research Laboratory!" he says, but Emily thinks not. "No!" she protests, "that sounds like monkey testing. People will picket!"
Rory has assumed boss lady duties and is taking Logan home from the hospital. She quizzes the doctor about what sort of physical therapist Logan should see. "That's if I need physical therapy," Logan says. Hello? Did they not say last week that Logan had torn up both knees? It's ridiculous to give him that injury and then act like he's not going to need rehab. That shit is so painful, a more realistic storyline would show him hobbling around for the next decade, addicted to Oxycontin. Rory chides him about following doctors' orders and he finally gives her a smooch, saying something melodramatic like "thanks for being who I wanted to get out of the hospital for," or something stupid like that. He must have caught the Bledelis Mumblitis from Rory, because I can't really understand him.