Gilmore Girls
Driving Miss Gilmore

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C'mon Baby, Drive My Car

Frustrated, Logan calls Rory at the paper office and begs her to call off her sentries. "They're there for a reason," Rory says. Logan: "To reenact their favorite scenes from Misery?" From the kitchen, Paris calls out that Logan's cabinets need reorganizing. Rory asks Logan what she's doing in there. "She's looking," Logan says, "for a bedpan substitute." Rory realizes the magnitude of the situation, and with Bill hovering over her shoulder with something for her to read, she agrees to allow him to get up to go to the bathroom, but with Doyle's help. Doyle is all too pleased to be of service. "You know," he says, gesturing to the television. "This is very life-affirming; very penguinesque." Aw, Doyle. You may be like a penguin, but if anything, Logan is like...a polar bear with highlights who sleeps in a snow drift of gold dust. Or something. Okay! So I'm reaching. I'm just saying: Logan is no penguin, and Morgan Freeman would back me up on that.

When Rory finally hangs up, Bill is there to see her reaction to the thing he wants her to read. "I highlighted the appropriate section," he says, gleefully handing over a copy of The Wall Street Journal. Slowly, a look of consternation creeps over Rory's face, and when she does not burst into a fiery rage, he walks away disappointed.

Lorelai is at the Inn, trying to fend off the constantly aerobicizing Michel, when Emily calls in a panic. Apparently the LASIK went bad, and Emily thinks Lorelai already knows about it. "Your father called you," she says, bobbing and weaving through the house, trying to shield her eyes from sunlight. "Tell me he called you." Before Lorelai can tell her anything, however, she gets another call from Richard, who is in South Dakota. He says that Emily's eye surgery went badly, and though she is all right, she can't see a thing. "That doesn't sound all right to me," Lorelai says, but Richard says the whole thing is only temporary and that Emily is on painkillers. He's trapped in South Dakota. "The most boring state in the nation," he says, obviously never having seen an episode of Deadwood. "As I was flying in, I swear I saw one of the heads on Mount Rushmore yawn." Richard says that Emily has a battery of help, but just in case something goes wrong, she might need Lorelai to come over. She does. Back on the other line, Emily is playing it as big as Bette Davis in Dark Victory. She tells Lorelai that she's all alone and desperately needs to run some errands. Lorelai asks whether there's anyone else to help her. "I don't remember being in labor for fourteen hours with anyone else," Emily snaps back, "so no, there's no one else." Lorelai tells Emily that she'll be right over. "I'll be waiting," Emily says. "Blind...and waiting!" Awesome.

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Gilmore Girls

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