Gilmore Girls
Eight O'Clock At The Oasis

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B- | Grade It Now!
Wet Teens! Wet Teens!

Rory runs up to Dwight's lawn. She sticks the tool in the ground that turns on the sprinklers. The sprinklers start, and Rory runs up the porch, grabs the house key that's out in the open for all to see (why not just leave the front door open?), and goes into the house. "Five o'clock at the Oasis!" the clock sings. Rory smiles approvingly. The phone rings ,and Dwight's machine picks it up with a "Namaste." It's Doris on the phone. Immediately, Doris begins shrieking, saying she's Dwight's wife and she wants her board games back and she's pissed that he snuck out the window on her. Wait, he snuck out the window with hundreds of board games? That Dwight's pretty talented. Rory runs away from the rabid lady on the answering machine. Oh, the fun! "Especially the Trivial Pursuit!" Doris growls. Hilarity!

Rory tries to turn off the sprinkler, but -- uh, oh! -- the sprinkler is suddenly broken and the water turns on twice as hard, soaking Rory to the bone almost immediately! Rory doesn't even really try to make it stop ("Gross!" she says), but instantly takes out her text messenger (soaking wet) and pages CuteDean, cursing him and his "Unabomber ways" for not being immediately available by pager. I didn't know CuteDean avoided technology, since they've been paging each other for years now. Where's her backpack? She runs away from the house with an "aw, man!" having only given CuteDean .03 seconds to respond.

Rory runs past Jess, who's reading a book while he walks. She pushes past him. He tells her to slow down. She barks for him to get out of her way. He follows her, teasing her new wet look. "It's very Blue Crush," he notes. He asks why she's in such a hurry. She says that the President asked everyone to exercise and she's very patriotic. She wonders where everyone is. Jess stops her and asks what's wrong, other than the fact that she's completely out of towels. Here's an idea, Rory. Turn off the sprinkler system at the house faucet. Just an idea, there. I know you're all Harvard-y and all, but maybe you could turn the water off before you go running to the boys. Anyway, Jess instantly puts on his hero hat and runs toward Dwight's house, somehow just "knowing" where he's supposed to go.

Dwight's house. Dwight lives much closer to Stars Hollow proper than Lorelai and Rory do. Jess runs through the sprinklers as Rory tells him he doesn't have to do this. She says she didn't ask him to do this and that she could find someone else. Jess turns the sprinkler tool twice and the water turns off. "Oh, you made it look so easy," Rory whines. Now, right here normally I'd make a joke about how Jess would be good with tools, but see, they've tricked me. They've put Jess in this big sweater with a black t-shirt underneath and they've wet him down so his hair sticks to his forehead and he's shivering just a little like Lloyd Dobler the night he loses his virginity. Jess and Rory are wet and shaking, staring at each other as water drips into their eyes. They're so cold that it's hot. Very hot. Jess shivers and asks Rory if things are good. As is suddenly the custom in the last ten minutes of every episode, Jess starts asking Rory about Harvard, and about her leaving for college soon. She says she's going to go to Harvard, but she's saying it with a lot less conviction these days. They keep their hands behind their backs to keep from embracing each other. They stare. Rory begins to stammer. Her pager goes off. It's CuteDean, of course, finally answering her page. And by "finally," I mean three minutes later. She says he's on his way over. Jess nods and quietly says, "Okay." He takes the sprinkler tool and turns the sprinklers back on. He smirks at her and walks past her, the water falling all around them. Fine! I like Jess, okay? There. I finally like him. And I'll tell you why. Jess 2.0 isn't as smarmy or evil. He isn't so cocky and pissy. He doesn't just assume he's going to date Rory and isn't so insulting to her life and the people in it. He's not angry bad dude punk kid. He's no longer a cliché. Now Jess is just a kid with a crush who's a little too cool for school but mostly he's just sad that he can't have the girl he loves because she's set in her ways and leaving for college soon anyway. Jess, you're better off with Shane anyway. At least she puts out. Rory watches Jess leave, licking water off the lips he didn't kiss.

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Gilmore Girls




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