Quick cut and, "Welcome to the Oasis!" Dwight shouts in front of his house. He's named it the Oasis, he repeats. He starts talking about the terrible marriage he was in, going on about his wife had five heads like something out of Greek mythology. He says that before her, he was taller, and had more hair and higher arches. Anyway, now he loves his house. Chuckle, chuckle, over-enthusiastic babbling, going on and on about nothing. Lorelai leads him to the spigot to discuss the watering so that she can go eat cheesy bread. So you put this tool into the sprinkler and turn it, which makes the water go on and off. It looks so fake. The water needs to go on for fifteen minutes twice a day.
Rory finally starts walking around her porch looking for her mother. Lorelai runs up and begins pushing Rory into the house, warning her not to turn around or introduce herself to any new neighbors. "No more talking to people ever!" she says as she closes the front door.
The auction. It's Tuesday at 1! Old people bid on a vase. Lorelai and Michel are almost the only young people in the room. Lorelai's got her skirt up high and she's wearing fuck-me boots as she complains about the amount of junk being auctioned at the auction. How would she know? This is a woman who owned a monkey lamp and a Hello Kitty alarm clock. Michel says you have to be patient, wait for what you want, and then pounce. "True at an auction; true at a singles bar," Lorelai says. Michel agrees. Lorelai isn't very quiet as she flips through the catalog repeatedly shouting, "Crap!" Suddenly Lorelai's unhappy that she didn't bid on the "great table" that just sold. Michel says it's a good table, but not a great table. Michel tells Lorelai that if she really wants the table, it's apparent that the buyer's children will be selling that table soon at an estate sale.
Emily walks up and asks why Lorelai didn't wave hi earlier. Lorelai says she's concerned about making any hand motions while the auction is going on. She tells Emily that when she waved earlier, she accidentally bought a motorcycle and a sidecar. A woman stumbles up saying, "There she is, The Cobra." It's the British neighbor from Mad About You, playing a woman named Natalie. She explains Emily's nickname to Lorelai, saying that Emily squeezes anyone who doesn't comply until she gets her way. Wouldn't that make her The Python? Or The Boa Constrictor? See, she could call her The Python, and then Lorelai would say, "I just call her 'Monty.'" Natalie admires Emily's "spunk," which is a word that only sounds dirty to me now because I'm seven. Natalie tells Lorelai a story about the flaky auctioneer trying to get out of work this morning until Emily squeezed him and he came around. Natalie reminds Emily to make the rounds to get all of her deserved praise, and then leaves, never to be seen again ever. Emily reminds Lorelai to say goodbye before she leaves, and Lorelai teases Emily about being The Cobra. She tosses in another joke about the motorcycle and sidecar as she sits back down beside Michel. He's carefully bidding on an endtable that Lorelai likes. Lorelai wants to "do the paddle," but Michel won't let her. Lorelai leaves to get a drink as Michel keeps bidding.