Ho-ho. Cute boy at the bar, only one glass of Merlot left. Lorelai and the handsome stranger begin bidding on the glass of wine, of course, and the bartender just walks away as they keep flirting. "Can I get an empty glass, please?" the new guy asks. "Yes, sir," the bartender says, the glass coming into frame before the new guy even gets a chance to ask. The new guy pours half into the new glass. "You're the Solomon of wine," Lorelai christens. They clink glasses. He excuses himself to go bid, not bothering to introduce himself or ask anything about her. She complains that she and the bartender are the only two people in the place without paddles. He suggests that she bid on a paddle. "What would I use to bid on?" she asks, proud of herself. "I'm Solomon, not Einstein," he says. "Bye, Solomon," Lorelai says to his back, one last attempt at getting his name. "Oops! I had a spare bottle all the time!" the bartender says, flipping his body back into frame with the new bottle in his hands. Lorelai says she had more fun the other way instead. She tips the bartender as we fade to commercial.
It's the next day, and we can hear crickets inside Lorelai's house, so I guess that means it's nighttime? Lorelai has called the auction and is trying to find out the name of her Merlot Buddy. She says he had Paddle 17 and she's wondering his contact information. "Oh, right," she says. "Con...confidential." Rory walks out of her bedroom and smugly watches Lorelai from a distance. Lorelai tells the person on the phone that Paddle 17 is an old friend from school, and that she doesn't know his name because they all referred to him by his nickname -- Shamu. Rory quietly giggles back into her room. Lorelai goes on about how Shamu was a big guy in high school and has now slimmed down. Rory, wearing CuteDean's bracelet, applies lip gloss with glee. Lorelai says she doesn't have time to contact the high school alumni committee. She says they went to a liquor store after the auction and bought a lottery ticket together and it turns out they've won $14 million and they have to claim it by 4 PM today. Looking outside at the dark window, I'd say she's missed the mark, or it's really early in the morning and Rory's not appropriately dressed for Chilton on a Wednesday morning with her black dress and pumps. Also, why is she calling the auction person this late/early? Rory holds her coat as Lorelai slumps into a kitchen chair and announces that her blood type is O negative, as is Paddle 17's, and she's got this medical condition... Rory sits beside Lorelai as Lorelai gets off the phone. "So," Rory smiles. "You ran into your old friend Shamu. And you won millions of dollars? And you need a transfusion?" Lorelai explains that she's trying to get the name of this "really cool guy" she met at the auction. Like Rory wouldn't already know that Lorelai met a cool guy at the auction? Are they dressed for Friday night at Emily's? Because it's supposed to be Wednesday morning or so, according to the phone call Lorelai just made. Rory notes that the guy must be cute since Lorelai's putting in so much effort. "And witty," Lorelai smiles. "You don't meet that every day." Rory says that Emily would have the guy's name. Lorelai says she can't ask Emily about him. "Then kiss Shamu goodbye," Rory says. Lorelai, always smelling a favor before it's even fully baked, decides that Rory could ask Emily Paddle 17's name. Rory doesn't see how she's supposed to ask for the name of a man she didn't meet at a function she didn't attend. "I'll share my lottery winnings with you," Lorelai offers. "It's ridiculously transparent," Rory notes. She does the math on half of the winnings after taxes and such and realizes she's not really going to make very much money at all off of Lorelai's offer, since Lorelai didn't actually win the lottery at all. "Ask her yourself," she says, as Lorelai calls her "mean." Rory asks if Lorelai called Information to ask Paddle 17's listing.
Emily's. I guess it's Friday. Just go with it. Yay! Richard's back! Emily asks everyone if they like the pork. Rory does. Emily isn't sure. Richard thinks it's fine. Emily isn't sure. Lorelai thinks it's really good. Emily still isn't sure. Richard explains that pork is bred leaner these days, which gives it a different taste: "Less fat equals less flavor." Riveting! Of all the words in all the orders you could have given Richard for his return, and you give him an explanation of the change in pork taste over the years? Come on. Emily finally announces that they're changing the subject, so Rory starts teasing Lorelai for having such a good time at the auction. Emily asks Lorelai if she saw anything she liked. "Yeah, Mom," Rory smiles. "Anything look good to you there?" Lorelai chats about endtables. Emily says she even bought a few pieces for herself. Richard complains about having chairs they aren't allowed to sit in beside footstools you can't put your feet on. He's very proud of the fact that he's provided Emily with a house full of useless objects: "I'm never happier than when we're standing in the corner staring at our furniture." Emily tells him to eat his pork. Rory leads the conversation back to Paddle 17. After some mild panting, Lorelai compliments Emily on the group of people that attended the function. She says she was surprised at how many "younger" people were there. She brings up Paddle 17, saying she didn't get his name but that he's nice, wore a nice suit, and liked Merlot. "Are you talking about Payton Sanders?" Emily asks. He of the chicken lineage? Lorelai says it's possible. Emily checks her records (which I guess were right in her pocket or sitting on a table just out of reach) and confirms that Paddle 17 was Payton Sanders. Richard gives Lorelai a sneaky look as Lorelai tries to be all, "Well, that's cool, baby. I mean, you know how it is, rockin' and rollin' and whatnot." Emily asks Lorelai why she's so interested in Payton Sanders. Lorelai finally confesses that they kind of "hit it off." Do you really think so, since you're having to go through so much work over these past one to four days when Payton could have easily asked the organizer of the auction, Lorelai's mother, for Lorelai's information? Lorelai asks for Payton's phone number, and then asks for the flavorless pork. Emily is filled with glee that Lorelai wants Payton's number: "Well, well, well. Richard, Lorelai is asking me for a man's number." Richard plays along with the smug glee. Emily says she doesn't have Payton's number, but that she can get it if Lorelai wants it. Lorelai says it's up to Emily. Emily says it can't be up to her, since she's not the one who wants the number in the first place. Do we all get it? Great, because I'm going to move on long before this scene does. Lorelai asks for the number, thanks Emily, and threatens Rory. We end the scene with Rory just smiling. Okay.