Gilmore Girls
Emily In Wonderland

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Rune And Rachel: The Bad Seeds of Stars Hollow

Luke walks in with some ice. "What are you doing here?" he asks her. Lorelai tells him that Rachel invited her up to look at some pictures. He goes to the safe. Lorelai tells him that he has a nice place. "Thank you," he says, most uncomfortably. She compliments the curtains. Luke says that Rachel did them. Lorelai says that Rachel has good taste. Rachel walks back in and Luke's all, "I just had to put something in the safe" to explain why he was crouched down near Lorelai's thighs. Lorelai says that she already told Luke she and Rachel went through his underwear drawer. "And the baseball cap fashion show?" Rachel asks. Luke says he's going to leave. He does. Lorelai thinks he's off to buy a rug to match the curtains.

Lane and Rory are sitting on Rory's bed listening to music. Rory says she doesn't like the song that's playing because it makes her gloomy. Lane asks if it's a Joy Division kind of gloomy, Nick Cave gloomy or Robert Smith gloomy. Rory decides it's a Johnny Cash gloomy. Lane goes into a long, gratuitous sentence about what that kind of gloomy is like, involving San Quentin and horses getting shot. Lane says she's deep in a Charlie Parker kind of gloomy. Henry called. She didn't talk to him but he left a message; she listened to it eight and a half times before she had to erase it. She was so panicked about her mom coming home while she was listening to the message that she accidentally broke the machine. Lane says it was a good message the first couple of times she listened, but once she started parsing it for subtext, it got depressing. He said, "Hey, Lane. It's Henry." Lane says this is not a good start; it's gender-neutral, no different from the way you'd start a conversation with "a bowling pal." "He asked you bowling?" Rory says hopefully. Lane continues that Henry said it was fun meeting her "the other night": "He didn't say which night. Like he didn't remember which night. Like he's mixing me up with another girl with another night. For all I know he thought he was calling the hot blonde he met at a hot night at Balthazar's." Rory: "He's a sixteen-year-old Korean boy!" Lane says that if he calls again she'll have to talk to him, and then they'll inevitably date and have a good time, and then she'll have to introduce him to her parents. Then they'll like him, and then it'll be over; they'll like him and she'll hate him. Lane pouts back and says she's a Lou Reed gloomy. The phone rings. It's Emily. She asks Rory for her favorite color. Rory says she doesn't really have one, but she guesses it's blue. Lane listens intently. Emily asks Rory's favorite flower -- roses or lilies. Rory says sunflowers. Emily asks about music: "'NSYNC or 98°?" Rory asks Lane. "What kind of sick joke is this?" Lane asks back. Rory says she couldn't choose. Emily: "Well, what about that other group? The Backside Boys." Rory sneers and says if she really had to choose she'd say 'NSYNC. See? We are all Rory. If we really have to choose, we'd choose 'NSYNC. Rory asks whether Emily is writing all of this down. Emily says she might be. Rory asks why. Emily says she's looking forward to dinner on Friday. Rory hangs up and asks Lane what all that was about. "Sounds like some sick take on the Gallup survey," Lane says. Rory tells Lane to call Henry. Lane says she already left him a message: "He's probably parsing it right now."

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Gilmore Girls

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