Lorelai skips back in, telling a very long story about Michel's violating several of the Bathrobe Bandits' rights. Nobody's fired or arrested, but that was after Lorelai had to comp everything and throw in a few free bathrobes. The cops were called. People were chased: "Plus, Michel ripped his pants and his underwear is pink and shiny." Wow. A lot happened in that three minutes she was gone. Stars Hollow has a hell of a space-time continuum. Lorelai asks what's up with the crickets her hilarious story received. Christopher glugs some wine and DUIs his baby out of that place without any briny porkchops. Chris stammers a goodbye to anyone he's ever met and tells Lorelai, right in front of Rory, that he'll call her later. Asshole!
Lorelai asks Rory what's up. Rory asks if Lorelai really did call Chris first. She did, and this confuses Rory. She tells Lorelai that she told Chris to stay away "a while ago." Lorelai acts like she can't figure out why Rory would ever do something like that. Rory says she didn't want Chris to screw up anything Lorelai has going on with Luke. Lorelai gives a very condescending "Ugh. Kid. You are so far off here. That is not going to happen." Rory has been called "kid" twice in two minutes. Rory tells her mother that every time Chris shows up, he screws up Lorelai's life. Lorelai, queen of denial, says that's not true. Rory recaps five years of Christopher, including the pregnancy and Max. Lorelai says that Christopher had nothing to do with Max. Rory reminds her of the phone call she made to Christopher from her bachelorette party. Rory knows way too much about her mother's life. Lorelai says she was so wasted at that party that she tried to drunk-dial Abe Vigoda. Rory says that Lorelai's always waiting for Christopher to get his life together. Lorelai admits that she might have wanted, in the past, to be with her baby's daddy, but that right now she's with Luke, "completely." Rory asks what Luke said when Lorelai told him about seeing Christopher. Lorelai, always a shitty liar, stammers that he was fine with it because Lorelaiand Chris are such great buds. Lorelai tells Rory that she's good. They order lunch. And speaking of lunch, if you want something quick when you're on the go, try -- ah, forget it.