Now back to the program. Lorelai refers to the adhesive on diapers as "tabby thingys," so I'm not exactly sure she's the motherhood expert she claims to be. Sookie realizes that she needs milk chocolate and artichoke hearts. Right now. That's the magic formula. Nope. Bell peppers. That's what she wants. Dark chocolate. Taffy and walnuts. Pistachios. Hearts of palm. Sounds like someone's going to be making a trip to Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's: for when you don't want to cook but look like someone who knows how to. Conveniently located without one adequately designed parking lot, your nearest Trader Joe's is just waiting to sell you a bag of vegan pizza dough, a six-dollar box of frozen shrimp scampi, and a gigantic brick of white chocolate. (Cleansers, beauty products, and a decent produce selection sold separately.)

Rory's chillin' in her dorm, trying to read the paper. Paris runs over and reads over her shoulder, prompting Rory to ask her not to compare their reading speeds again, since Paris is still faster: "Enjoy your trophy." Paris needs the exact time of today's sunset. Rory complains that she's in the middle of an article. Paris: "Well, if you read faster, you wouldn't be." Sunset's coming early today, at 4:31. See, Paris is fasting for Ramadan to add authenticity to her journalistic integrity. Or something like that. It's called a "quirky subplot." Paris grabs a line delivery from Sideways: "Are you chewing gum?" She asks Rory not to chew it "at" her. Rory tells Paris that not eating can make a person snippy. Paris reminds Rory that food particles aren't supposed to pass through her mouth or nose, and says that Rory's Bazooka is passing through her nose. Paris also isn't supposed to have any sex, but I think she's going to be able to handle that rule. Marty comes in and announces he snagged a bunch of chocolate goodies from the banquet he just cater-waitered. Paris calls him "bucko." If I were Marty, I'd be pretty pissed off that Rory was flirting with the guy who humiliated me by the coffee kiosk.