Gilmore Girls
Emily Says Hello

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The Blame Game

The town is decorated in its fall finest. Lorelai is on her way to Doose's when Jackson whispers to her, asking for her help. It seems Sookie's got a few food cravings that only Doose's can satisfy, and Jackson can't possibly show his face in front of Taylor. Then Jackson gives us an earful of Selectman problems, but to me that sounds like, "Blah blah blah Kirk." I mean, the election's over. Someone won, someone lost. We're all past it, right? Oh. For those of you creating the home trivia game: Kirk is allergic to all pine cone-scented things. Does that include Pine Sol? Jackson finishes his rant with the words "empty suit of Jackson skin," to which both Lorelai and I immediately respond, "Ew." The "ew"s just keep on coming when Jackson reads the wishlist from Sookie: "Grapefruit juice, Milk Duds, Bloody Mary mix, extra spicy turkey sausage." Jackson interrupts to inform us that this is all going in the same blender. Yikes. Jackson says he's getting a stomachache just from reading the list. Lorelai takes the list and offers to get the food. But you know, every Gilmore has an agenda, so Lorelai won't do this favor without a little quid pro quo. Lorelai wants something done about the pothole in the road on the way to the Dragonfly. That's no way to talk about Michel. Ba-dum-bum. Lorelai makes Jackson put her hole his top priority. Whee! Dirty!

Lorelai and Jackson walk into the house, calling out to Sookie that they are both home. Jackson worries that they were followed. Lorelai says that since they already ditched that Audi in Versailles, now all they have to do is find the tracking device. Jackson and Lorelai find Sookie sobbing over a People magazine. "It's just so sad!" she wails. Lorelai scolds Jackson for allowing soft human-interest stories to sit around Sookie during her delicate condition. Sookie weeps, saying that she thought the two people in the article were perfect for each other, with their hair and their teeth. Lorelai and Jackson handle Sookie with kid gloves. Hey, speaking of...someone ought to check on Davey before he cuts off all his hair and falls forward on something blunt, knocking out all of his teeth. It turns out Sookie is upset over the breakup of Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Hurley. Yes, they were clearly made for each other, since she was gorgeous and perfect and he was only sometimes picking up hookers on Sunset Boulevard. Lorelai reminds Sookie that their breakup was years ago. "Tons of people have broken up since then," Jackson offers as some kind of consolation. Lorelai shoots Jackson a death glare.

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Gilmore Girls

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