Luke is sweet and schmoopy around Lorelai, but she's jumpy and full of guilt and once again telling the neverending Bathrobe Bandits story, so quickly that Luke figures out something is up. Lorelai confesses to seeing Christopher, and how unimportant it was, but it happened. Twice. And whee! Yay, no problem. Awesome. Yay. Luke tries to act like he's rock and roll with it, but you know, the fact that Lorelai didn't want to tell him means he should think about it. She takes a cell-phone call because that's what Gilmores do when someone's mad at them.
It's Emily, shouting for Lorelai to get over there right now. "Who is this?" Lorelai asks. (Thanks for the link, daisie.) Emily is distraught because Lorelai's advice landed her a hot date and now she doesn't know what to wear or what to do on her date with a man who heard her say "hello." Emily tells Lorelai that it's all her fault. There's a lot of blame getting shifted in this episode. Lorelai tells Emily that "hello" isn't Lorelai's line, or a line at all. Emily threatens Lorelai that if she doesn't get over to Emily's house immediately she'll book a DAR convention at the Dragonfly every single weekend until she dies.
Lorelai immediately enters Emily's bedroom, narrowly missing a "Chanel attack," when a dress flies across the room toward her face. Emily tells Lorelai to check out the red pantsuit. Lorelai says it's nice and red and "panty-suity." Emily is a mess, worrying about what she should wear, say, and order. Lorelai picks one outfit for Emily. Emily accuses Lorelai of picking whatever just to be able to leave. Emily goes into a panic attack, gasping for breath. They sit for a second. Emily says she can't believe she's dating and single. She says that, the night she got married she panicked, thinking this was the only person she'd be with for the rest of her life. She says that if she had a crystal ball back then, she might have been able to eat her delicious-looking salad. Uh, I'm totally happy that I'm getting married, but there are times when even my brain goes, "Forever, dude. This guy. Forever." Lorelai asks her mother if she's sure this is something she truly wants to do. Emily says she's sure, so Lorelai picks an outfit. Emily thanks her, and then chooses the opposite.
Miss Patty flags down Jackson's car and begs for his help. She says that her accompanist just passed out. Jackson asks if Miss Patty checked the girl's pulse. Miss Patty drags Jackson into the studio, calling him a smart man. As they enter the darkened studio, Jackson wonders if they should call 911. Miss Patty says that the woman is lying in the dark corner of the studio. Surprise! The lights come on to show that Jackson has been dragged to a town meeting, which Miss Patty has just called to order. Kirk slams the door shut. Miss Patty hands Jackson the gavel. Kirk makes a gesture that at first looks like he doesn't understand how muscles work, but then I realize he's pretending to use gigantic scissors. Quirky!