Gilmore Girls
Emily Says Hello

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The Blame Game

Rory hides in her room, pausing in front of her "STOP THE WAR ON CHOICE" poster. She says she's sick and tired of placating Emily and Richard during their stupid separation. Lorelai says she understands Rory's decision to cancel Friday-night dinners. She also says "duty." Hee. Rory says her grandparents need to be separated and given a good talking-to. She says that, this Friday, she and Lorelai will split up and each have dinner with one of Lorelai's parents. Lorelai asked what happened to the idea of just canceling the dinners. Rory says she knows her grandparents don't really want to separate. Lorelai reminds Rory that they're very stubborn, and she doesn't want Rory getting her hopes up. Rory says she can't stand it the way it is. She knows that they miss each other, but that they're too proud to say anything. In the background, we can still hear Marty and Paris arguing. Too bad they can't make out. Stupid Ramadan. Lorelai doesn't want to have dinner with either Emily or Richard. She'd rather take the quiet butler: "He doesn't talk much, and as far as I can tell, thoroughly enjoys the way I dress." Why do they use that weird sound effect for doors opening and closing on this show? Are all the doors that fake on the set that they have to loop in the sound of doors later? It makes it seem like we're playing a first-person shooter. Marty enters Rory's room. Lorelai chooses Emily. Rory finally ends her phone call. Marty still gives her a bag of free food. "What's the bacon wrapped around?" she asks. "Something bacon should never be wrapped around." I bet it's seafood. "Rich people," sneers Rory the hypocrite. "They live very different lives," Marty says. Ask Rory what she'll be doing this Friday night, Marty. You might be surprised just how rich your little friend is. And if you want to be as rich as a Gilmore, consider investing with Bank of America. Bank of America: For when you just don't say the word "Fuckers!" enough.

Luke asks Lorelai how Rory's doing after the whole "Dean thing." Five years of plot has been turned into such an insignificant-sounding nickname. Lorelai says that her daughter bounced back quickly. She bounced like J.Lo. In Shall We Dance?, still available at your local dollar theater, soon to be released on DVD just in time for Christmas. See the film my mother called "The dancing one with Richard Gere and that girl with the big ass. She's no Catherine Zeta-Jones, that one." Lorelai tells Luke not to gloat over the end of Dean. Luke reiterates that he didn't think Dean was right for Rory. After his recent run-ins with people who think he's not good enough for Lorelai, you'd think Luke would get his high horse's legs chopped down about a foot or two. Hey, is that even a real sentence? Man. I played about six hours of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas yesterday, and my brain still isn't working right. Like right now, I kind of want to punch the man standing in line next to me because he's talking like a Gilmore on his cell phone. And I'm clearly sitting next to him, working, and he's like, "Nah, dude! I'm in the coffee shop! Man, it smells like coffee in here!" I'm not kidding. I want to punch him and kick him and then take his gun and cash and go buy me a tattoo. Not that those games reinforce criminal behavior, but it'd be a whole lot better than sitting here with an uneaten croissant and a whole lotta recap left. Lorelai and Luke kiss.

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Gilmore Girls

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