Gilmore Girls
Face-Off

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Poor Rory

The hockey game. Jung Chu is on his cell phone. I take back what I said about Miss Patty lip-synching last week now that I hear her and Babette singing "The Star Spangled Banner" right before the start of the hockey game. The Stars Hollow Minutemen sure have fancy uniforms. And where is this rink? Where is it normally? Oh, whatever. Oh, it's on the rival team's turf. Okay. I guess that's why Miss Patty and Babette get to sing the...forget it.

Rory walks up to Lane. She's amazed that it's so cold, that there's really ice, and that a game called hockey actually exists. Lane asks Rory what she's doing there. "I'm hockeying," Rory answers. Lane says that's not a word. Rory asks why the crowd's so sparse. Lane says there's a monster-truck rally in Woodbury, which pulls a lot of the same crowd. Hey, that's not true. Lane asks where Jess is. Rory says she doesn't know, and she doesn't care. She's out without Mr. Big tonight, a single girl on the town. I can't believe she doesn't at least complain to Lane about how lame Jess is being with this whole "I don't need to call you, babe" routine. She says that everything's fine and she wanted to see some hockey. Lane explains that Jung Chu is on the phone with Karen, who isn't too pleased that he's going out with other girls, even if it's only to please his parents, so he's spending the entire date talking to her, consoling her. She says that Karen isn't as cool as Dave. Rory says that Dave is pretty cool. Lane says he's the coolest next to Jess. Whatever. Rory makes pretty much the same sound as I did when Lane implies that Jess is cooler than anybody. CuteDean screeches to a stop on the ice and gives Rory a CuteWave. Oh, Rory. How everyone loves you unconditionally.

The game commences, with Kirk's deadpan, "People of Stars Hollow! Are you ready to rumblllllllllle!" I love Kirk. Give him the spin-off. Kirk's Day, we'll call it, and we just see him go from job to job. Is Dean the center? Oh, that poor Texas boy, having to pretend he knows what he's doing. Kirk announces that the first quarter has begun. He then backtracks, after checking his Hockey for Dummies book, and says they are periods, not quarters. "My bad," he says.

"So this is sports," Rory says to Lane, unamused. Lane gives a sympathetic look back.

The Christian Trio is rocking the hizzy for shizzy, y'alls. Zach sings a country "Amazing Grace." And it's electric, I guess, but I don't see the amps. MamaLane gives them a fifteen-minute break to retune. Dave excuses himself for some air. Zach teases his vocal patterns.

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Gilmore Girls

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