Lorelai gives Sookie the dish: she explains that Christopher does not think she even wants to be in the marriage. "But you do, right?" Sookie asks. Lorelai says yes, of course, but that Chris's jealously of Luke is blinding him. She has decided that the only way to settle things with their marriage is to cut Luke out of her life completely. But...is he even in her life? I mean, he showed up at the hospital and she wrote him the reference, but otherwise, it's not like they're hanging out. Sookie says, though, that Luke is still a big part of her life: "It's just that it's Luke. You were friends for years, before you were together, and then when you were together, you were really together." She says that she knows Lorelai has moved on, but that all those feelings for Luke didn't just disappear over night, and that Lorelai just moved very quickly. Wait a second -- they have already had this conversation, before Lorelai and Christopher got married, right? Unfortunately, it didn't work that time, either. Lorelai says that her feelings for Luke didn't instantly disappear, but that she put all that behind her and married Chris, who loved her and wanted to marry her. Sad, sad. She says that Luke was kind to her and loyal, but also distant and uncommunicative, and didn't want to marry her: "I tried everything I could to work it out. And of course I have feelings for him; that's what Christopher's responding to, and that's why, in order to save my marriage, the only thing I can do is cut Luke out, right?" Siiiiigh. Wait a SECOND. Now Lorelai has feelings for Luke? When we've been through a whole season thus far of them passing each other like acquaintances? No looks of yearning? No drunk dials? No...anything that would indicate to anyone real or fictional that either of them had anything but mildly wistful recollections of each other? It bugs me. I mean, I guess I would be complaining about something else if she had married Chris and sat around mooning over Luke, but my point is...why have Lorelai marry Chris at all? Just to put the nail in that relationship once and for all? Maybe. Oh, hi. Don't mind me. I'm working some stuff out in private over here. Sookie puts the hard question to Lorelai: if there were no Luke, ever, in the picture, would Christopher still be The One? Lorelai furrows her brow, but doesn't answer.
Later, Lorelai takes Michel into the music store to arrange for the memorial music. He grouches that he doesn't know why they are bothering, snarking, "Why not just turn on the radio and hope for the best? Maybe we will get lucky and some heep-hop station will be playing Snoop Doggy Dogg." They see Zach, whom Lorelai has hired to perform, and whom she has also obviously coached through his reaction to Michel. "Hello. Michel," says Zach, robotically. "I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. It totally blows." Zach has been awesome in these last two episodes. He says he was, at first, thinking about using the mandolin in the ceremony. "But then I'm like, 'Whoa, Zach, are you tripping? It's got to be acoustic guitar. Way more soulful.'" He says that he's been thinking about the selections, and is leaning toward David Bowie: "You see where I'm going? 'Diamond Dogs'?" Michel is crestfallen: "Whatever. David Bowie sounds like a hoot." Lorelai, however, is now fully committed to the funeral, and explains that they don't actually need a song that features dogs for the ceremony. "More Princess Diana," she says, "less 'Diamond Dogs.'" Zach gets a worried look: "You want Elton John?" Lorelai says that they were thinking more dignified, like Mozart or Bach... "Céline Dion," Michel interrupts. Zach's fear deepens. "Oh," he says, "don't make me do that." But, no, he's going to have to make the ultimate sacrifice. "Actually," Michel says, sniffing, "'My Heart Will Go On' was Chin Chin's favorite song." As Zach shivers, Lorelai goes through the sheet music on the wall, dropping Luke-shaped musical boulders on us all the way: "My Heart Is Crying for You," "My Heart is Waiting," "My Heart Stood Still," etc. Desperately, Zach tries to suggest something else, but in the end, Lorelai finds it.