Gilmore Girls
Girls In Bikinis, Boys Doin' The Twist

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Girls Gone Mild

Lorelai and Digger are walking back to Lorelai's house. Lorelai is going on about how Michael Caine is in every movie, and needs to learn the power of the word "no." Digger, meanwhile, looks like a crazy person, like he's about to flash someone, or rob someone. All hunched and quiet. Lorelai sighs again, which she keeps doing around Digger, so I don't know why she likes him. She complains that he's making her work too hard tonight. That's what she said! Actually, that is what she said. Digger sighs, too. Lorelai says she wore cute boots tonight and did a good job of walking straight and not yelping, but that if she had known she was going to have to do all the talking too, she wouldn't have worn such uncomfortable footwear. Digger says he did it all wrong, giving her the key that morning. He says that the key was supposed to say something. Lorelai: "So it's a talking key." Digger explains that they're at the point in their relationship where he normally breaks it off and walks away. Lorelai thinks Digger is now trying to break up with her, when he's clearly saying that he doesn't want to break it off and that's freaking him out a little bit. Lorelai's all sighing and panting again, so exasperated at every word Digger says. Digger says he couldn't think of anything about her that bothered him. He says he knew he'd be an idiot if he left her, so he went out and made the key. "The talking key," Lorelai repeats. Digger says that he wanted the key to tell her that this was different and that he wanted her in his life even more than she already is. Lorelai says that while it would have been interesting to hear that from the key, it's more romantic to hear it from Digger. They kiss without tongue. And then, because they're so in love and at the point where they want to spend more time together, Digger leaves without a kiss goodbye.

Lorelai walks into her house. She checks her messages. There's one from Luke. He's in jail and needs her to pick him up. Lorelai's mouth drops. She grabs her coat as Luke says he needs her to loan him money for his bail. Lorelai runs out of the house. She may find Digger tiresome, but there's nothing she won't drop for Luke, key or no.

Florida motel. Fraulein, Louisa, Rory, and Paris are sitting at a table getting drunk. Rory tells Paris that she could never date Paris, because she's too high-maintenance. Louisa and Fraulein say that the entire place was buzzing about the kiss, and that even the twins were jealous. Maybe the kiss was supposed to be bigger, or on a dare originally, like, with people watching? Because right now I don't understand the hubbub. Fraulein leaves for more booze. Louisa asks Paris about her love life. Paris gushes a bit about Asher. Fraulein brings back cups of booze, saying she made their drinks a little stronger this time. Rory says that it'll be great to watch the cups dissolve. Paris admits she's a little disappointed that Asher didn't invite her to go to Denver with him for the conference. She wonders if he's planning to dump her. ["No -- just to cheat on her, probably with his wife." -- Wing Chun] Louisa says he isn't as long as he's still buying her jewelry. "He's never bought me jewelry," Paris says. "Asher doesn't have a lot of money." Tenured, esteemed professor at Yale? Okay. Fraulein and Louisa don't understand why Paris would date an older man if he wasn't rich. Rory says that Asher just wants Paris to have fun, which means he cares about her. Then Rory acts drunk, which is painful to watch, as she giggles that there are two of Paris. Paris giggles back and does a lot of heavy sighing, but I saw Whatever, so I know this girl can normally act and this must be a special kind of WB form of acting drunk. Louisa asks Rory about CuteDean. They ask if he's still gorgeous. Rory says he still is, but that he's also married to a pretty, tall, leggy blonde. Louisa offers a prediction. Fraulein tells us that Louisa is recently psychic. Louisa declares that CuteDean's marriage won't make it. "Two married nineteen-year-olds," Paris says. "Boy, that's a risky bet." Louisa says that CuteDean isn't over Rory yet. Rory says that they are still friends, but that it's all over. Fraulein finds CuteDean's number in Rory's cell phone. They then drunk-dial CuteDean, handing the phone to Rory right as the voicemail picks up. Rory stammers and giggles her way through a rather tasteful message, all things considered. There's no "And that's what they call closure" moment or anything. AB Chao take note: sometimes you can drunk-dial someone without having to end with the words, "Fuck you, Pam." Rory shrieks that she's going to kill Louisa and Fraulein, but first she's going to go get some air because she's way too drunk.

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Gilmore Girls

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