Gilmore Girls
Go, Bulldogs!

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Lorelai is trying to quietly get her morning coffee and avoid Sookie and Michel's fight of the day. "You're peet-ee-ful," Michel harangues as they come through the door. "You're telling me that you tell me how it is?" Sookie: "That's what I'm telling you!" Finally, they drag Lorelai into it, though against her will. She reluctantly lays down the law. While she's away in Paris, she says, Michel is indeed in charge of the front desk. However, since Sookie is a co-owner of the inn, she is in charge overall. "Ha HA!" Sookie says in Michel's face. He is outraged, saying that Sookie doesn't know the first thing about his job. "All I have to know is how to tell your sorry behind to stand at the front desk and be courteous," she says, making the universal sign for You're Whipped as he grumbles out the door. "He's been driving me crazy," she tells Lorelai when he's gone. "He keeps referring to himself as my supervisor and insisting that I call him 'Captain.'" Beautiful. Moments later, Sookie is surprised by a man with a big cuke. Heeee. Sorry. Look, I had to throw a joke in here somewhere! There's a new veggie guy in town and he has come bearing the fruits (and vegetables and legumes) of his labor. His stuff looks very good, Sookie assures him politely, but she already has a vegetable man. In spite of this, he insists on leaving the basket of produce behind, asking her to pass on his name if she ever gets a chance with another chef.

Swim class is over at the local pool, and the teacher is ordering everyone into the locker room. "My towel's all wet," one girl complains. "Well, that's what happens when you throw it in the pool, Laura," the teacher snaps back. "A terrific lesson in cause and effect." Awesome. Damn kids and their inability to reason. Luke arrives to pick up April and chats with the teacher about April's progress as a swimmer. The teacher, whose hair is the most unnatural shade of chlorine blonde, ever, says that April is doing well and asks if her natural abilities are inherited. Luke demurs. He doesn't know how to swim very well, he says. "I can dog paddle to shore in a pinch," he uncomfortably laughs. "I'm pretty good on land, though." The teacher is alarmed and insists that he take her adult swim class. Luke is trying to extricate himself from her pushiness when April emerges from the locker room, excited to announce that she will be swimming in two upcoming races. "I mean," she adds, "I'm not anchor or anything, but I'm still pretty fast." So cute, but then she ruins it when her coach mentions that Luke will be taking her upcoming class and lets forth an unnatural and strange cackle. I don't think they give the actress who plays April enough takes to get her lines down, sometimes. She's super-cute, but she's not a Gilmore, and she's not used to speaking at a zillion rpm. It doesn't come out right every time, and Scott Patterson ends up staring at her with a fraught look, willing her to get it right so he can say his lines. "Do you even own a bathing suit?" she chortles. Luke looks offended. "Yeah, I do," he says. "I mean, it's not a Speedo, or anything." April loses it as if he is Lenny Bruce reincarnated, and they go out hooting it up. And, yes, I will sign the petition I know some of you are already starting to see Luke in a Speedo. Hello, I'm mad at the show, but I'm not dead.

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Gilmore Girls

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