Christopher and Lorelai have made it into the dining hall where Lorelai again rails against all the fanciness Yale has put out for the weekend. "Look at this propaganda!" she says. "Belgian waffles...cloth napkins...I've had breakfast here before and it was paper napkins and American cereal all the way! Lox? Capers? Itty-bitty bagels? Packs of lies!" They are met by a little man with coffee who introduces himself as the parent of Ethan Morton, a freshman. When he hears that the two of them are the parents of Rory Gilmore, he is taken aback. Apparently, his son wants to be a journalist and is quite a fan of Rory's. "I love it that Rory has fans," Lorelai says, rather than politely accepting a compliment. When his wife overhears Ethan's dad excitedly suggest that they set up a lunch so that Ethan can meet Rory, she swoops in, seemingly to rescue Lorelai and Chris from his overeagerness. She, too, however, is all about the promoting to Ethan, and offers to email Lorelai one of his high-school editorials on flag burning.
Lorelai tries to escape by mentioning the Provost, while Ethan's dad apologizes to Chris for being so pushy. "No, please," Christopher says politely, "you're a proud dad." Yeah, Ethan's dad agrees. He is proud. They should all be proud that their kids got into such a great school, especially after all those years of badass parenting they did, looking over homework and driving them to lessons and like, clothing and feeding and housing them. Don't think any of this is getting past Christopher, who gets the Sad Dad face as he no doubt reflects on all those years of...doing nothing of the kind for Rory. Lorelai rejoins Chris as another dad comes over talking about hockey practice and science projects, mentioning when he sees Chris's nametag that he had just been talking to Chris's wife. "Um, actually," Lorelai says, uncomfortably, "I'm not his wife." Yeah, the guy says, he wasn't talking about her. He was talking about Mrs. Gilmore, over by the mimosas. Lorelai cringes as she looks over and sees Emily holding court with a bunch of other biddie women.
"And I said to him," Emily is saying, as they all titter, "they've tenured Bill Sunderland? Who's next? Carmen Electra?'" Laughter erupts as Lorelai sidles up. "Good one, Mom," she says, and Emily, embarrassed by the sight of her as usual, excuses herself.
Here begins a long argument, mostly instigated by Lorelai, on who has more right to be at Parents' Weekend. Why Lorelai can't say "Glad to see you," I don't know, but she bitches and moans sarcastically about how Parents' Weekend is for parents, not grandparents. "A grandparent is a type of parent," Emily points out. Lorelai says that no, it isn't. "A grand piano is a type of piano, is it not?" Emily counters. Lorelai: "Well, you've got me there, Riddler, but I hope that logic still works when I crash Grandparents' Weekend." Emily has had enough of this. She says that they've been attending Parents' Weekend since Rory's freshman year, and that it's one of their little traditions. "It's one of your little traditions to pretend to be Rory's parents?" Lorelai asks, incredulous. What? Does she not watch this program? It's certainly not one of their traditions to pretend to be her own parents. Richard strolls up, saying it's a surprise to see Lorelai there. "Yes, it is a surprise," Lorelai says. "You know why? Because you guys aren't parents. Why are you here?" Richard, offended, says that he's an alumnus and a visiting faculty member. Emily says they have always come, for Rory's sake, and that anyway, Parents' Weekend is obviously not Lorelai's kind of thing. This is, of course, exactly what Lorelai was just saying, but now it somehow bothers her that anyone would suggest she's not all about it. She's especially bothered when she hears the G-Unit is taking Rory to dinner at a fabulous French place with to-die-for crÃ¨me brulee. Christopher arrives in time to save Lorelai, saying that the astrophysics lecture is about to start. "I know you probably don't want to..." he starts, and she jumps in to interrupt."...want to miss a minute of it! That's right" she says, and drags him away from the stunned Grandparents.