Paris asks Rory, "Hey. What do you think about Helmut Newton being Louise's godfather? Explains a lot, doesn't it?" Rory suggests that perhaps Paris should think about the hemline thing. She says that if girls want the option to make their skirts a little shorter, it's not a big deal. Paris says it is a big deal to her, since she's building a legacy and doesn't want to start it with some fashion issue: "It would be my gays in the Military." Rory says it would be a good way to establish some goodwill among the other class presidents, since Paris might need them to support an issue of hers in the future. Throwing them a tiny bone like the hemlines could help out. And since it's the beginning of the term, nobody's even going to remember the first thing Paris passed. Rory says that Paris's legacy will be established: "By the time that you implement public executions for line-cutters, hemlines will be a thing of the past." Paris asks Rory why she even cares about this. Rory lies that she thinks that Paris would want to be beloved as well as respected. Paris is interested in being beloved. Paris says she'll push it through. "But the next genius who comes up with the brilliant plan to put Elizabeth Arden in the Chemistry class? Can bite my ass." Is that the first time "bite my ass" has been said on network television?
Lorelai stumbles down the stairs and tells Rory she doesn't want to go to Emily's tonight. Rory says she has to. Lorelai still can't believe that Emily called Christopher. Rory says Emily thought she was helping. "You do know there isn't a Santa Claus, don't you?" Lorelai asks. Rory begs Lorelai to forget all about this and let it go. Lorelai says that sometimes you have to cut people out of your life. Rory reminds Lorelai that Emily is Lorelai's mother. Lorelai demands some tests to prove it. She assumes that Emily is probably on the phone with Kirk right now asking him about china patterns. The phone rings; it's Kirk. He gets confused by the answering machine. "And that's the guy who likes me!" Lorelai says. She asks Rory to look into her eyes and say "I wish I were you" at exactly the same time so they can have a Freaky Friday, in a shout-out to Djb's award-winning Gilmore Girls spec script. Rory says that they can just pretend to switch and Lorelai can walk around acting all immature: "Oh, wait...." Heh. Rory doesn't want to switch places with Lorelai, since she doesn't want to date Kirk. The phone rings again. It's Kirk, and as he's leaving a message, his mother picks up the phone. She's confused, thinking her doctor is on the phone, and Lorelai bolts from the house as Kirk and his mother bicker on Lorelai's machine. Strummy-strummy-la-la music takes us to commercials.